approval seeking
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Inner compass
“Pay close attention to your inner compass. If you stop steering by your own compass, you’ll hit a rumble strip. Don’t panic. Just question your assumptions and you’ll be back on the road in no time.” ~Martha Beck We humans are creatures of habit. We often follow the traditional routes mapped out by others — and find safety and comfort in doing so. Likewise, as kids, we’re taught to respect “authority” in all its guises, including our parents, school teachers, pastors, priests, and police officers. We assumed they were always right, always acting on our behalf — and we were reprimanded for doubting or disobeying them. I like to think…
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Shining
“Never dull your shine for somebody else.” ~Tyra Banks “I don’t want to look as if I’m trying too hard,” a friend said when she was choosing an outfit for a special event. I believe she meant that she wanted to look natural, or comfortable, not over the top. But I know several people who share the same concern — and they won’t even wear a costume to a Halloween party. It takes self-confidence and courage to stand apart from the crowd. If you’re always worried about what others think, you’re probably afraid to take risks. I’m a bit suspicious of calculated nonchalance — or pretending that you didn’t “try…
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Identity crisis?
“The reward for conformity is that everyone likes you but yourself.” ~Rita Mae Brown High school kids typically work hard to fit in with their peer groups. Even the non-conformists dress like the other non-conformists. One of the gifts of aging is feeling comfortable with yourself. You develop your own style, making choices that reflect your taste and character in everything you do. You don’t have to follow trends because you trust your own creative ideas. Maturity is all about discovering yourself, not figuring out how to impress — or fit in with others. ~CL If you enjoy “Life Lines,” please share the site with your friends.
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Putting yourself last?
“Sometimes you have to put your own needs first, even if that doesn’t please others. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” ~Shannon Olson When I was younger, I often placed the needs and wishes of others before my own — even in matters as simple as choosing where to go out for dinner. Everyone else, it seemed, had better ideas or bigger problems to solve than I had. Even when I was overbooked with parenting duties or exhausted after caring for an elderly parent, I tried to make time for everyone who asked for it. Maturity has given me permission to put…
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Random acts of authenticity
“Authenticity is not needing external approval to feel good about your actions.” ~Jess Lively, The Lively Show Once in a while, it’s healthy to question our own motives. How often do we take a photo that we don’t intend to publish or show anyone else? How often do we create a work of art, write a story, redecorate a room, or buy a “no-reason” gift for someone — just because it makes us happy? How often do we give generously of our time or resources without expecting acknowledgement, praise, approval, or something else in return? Today, try doing something for yourself. (Don’t explain it or show it to anyone else.)…
