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Goodbye, Jack B. Nimble
I lost a dear friend on Thursday. During an annual physical last year, the vet told me that Jack, our 19-year-old tuxedo cat, was possibly nearing his final months. He started failing steadily last week, so when he lost control of his back legs and collapsed by his litter box, I knew it was time to let him go. En route to the vet’s office Thursday afternoon, I remembered a small poster I’d purchased a few years ago. Cats are angels with fur, it said. Like most angels — animal or human — Jack arrived on the scene exactly when I needed him. Our only child had gone off to college…
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Sincerity
“Sincerity is an openness of heart. We find it in very few people. What we often see is only an artful pretense to win the confidence of others.” ~La Rochefoucauld, French philosopher There was a time when the phrase “I love you” was almost sacred. We saved it for rare and precious moments with lovers, spouses, our kids, and our closest friends. Today, “I love you” (or the Hollywood style, “Love you!”) is tossed around casually in text messages or shouted across parking lots and other public places — even to folks who haven’t fully earned our complete devotion. Love for humanity is a wonderful thing, and yes, sincere affection…
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Puppy love
“Dogs never bite me. Just humans.” ~Marilyn Monroe As long as we’re celebrating the month of love, we can’t overlook our wonderful four-legged friends. If you’re anything like me, you consider your dogs and cats as part of your family — and adore them just as much. (As my friends will tell you, you’d better not come to my house if you don’t enjoy animals.) Pet ownership provides companionship and well-documented health benefits, as I discovered after adopting our beautiful Coco, shown above, from a local animal shelter. That’s the topic of my newest column in the February issue of Vitality and online in The Oakland Press. If you live…
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Old friends
Sociologist Gerald Mollenhorst conducted a now-famous study on friendship. In particular, he investigated how the context in which we meet people shapes our social network. One of his conclusions: We naturally lose about half of our friends every seven years. Given our ever-changing circumstances — moving, changing jobs, getting married, raising kids — it’s logistically impossible to maintain every friendship we’ve ever had. My friend Debbie and I touched on this topic recently. Deb and I met when we were both pregnant nearly 39 years ago, and our long friendship is wrapped in layers of shared memories and experiences. We’re also lucky enough to have kept a few older friendships…
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Deep listening
“How often do you offer your undivided attention to others? Do you inquire into how they’re doing, what’s happening in their world, or what they need to feel safe and happy? Or are you quick to talk about yourself and see how others might serve you?” ~John Amodeo, PhD One of the hallmarks of a great conversationalist is the ability to listen. Ideally, when someone asks what you’ve been up to lately, you hope they’ll pay attention to your answer and ask follow-up questions. Too often lately, most people seem eager to shut you up, derail your topic, and reroute the conversation back to themselves. How often have you walked…
