The beauty of “letting them”

“When you say Let them, you make a conscious decision not to allow other people’s behavior to bother you. When you say Let me, you take responsibility for what YOU do next.” ~Mel Robbins, The Let Them Theory

As Mel Robbins sees it, some things in life are beyond our control — and that can feel painful at times. In her best-selling book, The Let Them Theory, Robbins shares a simple philosophy that will help you regain emotional resilience and inner peace. 

The need to be in control is often our biggest roadblock to true contentment, Robbins believes. We can’t control the weather or the economy, nor can we control the behavior of other adults in our lives. Sometimes our kids, spouses, or friends do exactly as they please — even when we wish they wouldn’t. Sometimes we have to step back and … let them.

Did an old neighbor snub you at the grocery store last week? Does your adult daughter reject your child-rearing advice? Do your friends typically ignore your social media posts? Are your in-laws at odds with your politics?

The Let Them Theory helps you determine when to pick your battles or simply walk away. “Those two words — let them — help you recognize that something out there is not within your power, and that your energy is worth protecting,” Robbins says.

Is letting them the same as letting go? Not quite. It’s more about recognizing the fact that you’re responsible for your own emotional wellbeing. You hold the key to your own happiness, as well as your own misery. If you repeatedly blame others for your problems or obsess over something you can’t fix, it’s a sure sign that someone or something else is controlling you. Stop surrendering yourself.

This book is especially helpful for turbulent, unpredictable times — like right now. And it’s a must-read for anyone who’s struggling with difficult situations at work or at home. (There’s even a special section on parenting and “enabling.”) As Robbins explains, “No matter how powerless the world makes you feel, you always have power inside you, through your attitude and through your actions.” ~CL