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Boundaries
“We live in a time when people have unprecedented access to us. Bosses and coworkers expect you to read emails and DMs late at night, friends and family go into long rants over the phone or texts and expect instant feedback. Sometimes we have to say, ‘I don’t have the capacity to hold you right now because I’m trying to hold myself.'” ~Melanie Santos Stone walls, fences, and guard rails define our limits and announce our boundaries. They protect our property or keep us from falling over the edge. Along these lines, emotional boundaries helps us guard our time and privacy. While the internet serves as an invaluable communication tool,…
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Can we talk?
“I once worked with someone who would only listen for about 15 seconds before interrupting — and then it was only to say something about himself….No matter how long we actually spoke, he just linked whatever you said back to himself and what he wanted to talk about. This effectively ended the conversation.” ~Jack Thomas, Good Conversations Lately I’ve been fascinated by the topic of meaningful conversation and how it can enrich our relationships. With that in mind, I’ve been tracking down articles and books that explore the reasons why we’re losing the art of good conversation and what we can do about it. According to several behavioral scientists, we’ve…
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Memorial Day weekend
“Freedom makes a huge requirement of every human being. With freedom comes responsibility.” ~Eleanor Roosevelt There’s an important difference between Memorial Day and Veteran’s Day. We might lose sight of Memorial Day’s sobering origins while we grill hamburgers at family picnics, plant our gardens, or shop the holiday sales. Originally known as Decoration Day, the holiday was proclaimed after the Civil War to honor the Union and Confederate dead. It later became a weekend of remembrance for everyone who died serving in the American armed forces. So, no matter what you’re doing with your long weekend, take a moment to remember the soldiers who sacrificed their lives for the freedom…
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No regrets
“Life is a lot more fragile than we think. So you should treat others in a way that leaves no regrets. Fairly, and if possible, sincerely.” ~Haruki Murakami At dinner last night, a neighbor texted to tell me that the husband of a former neighbor had died suddenly. The man was only in his sixties, and his death was one of several losses in our neighborhood over the past year. We’re reminded, at times like these, to treat each other with care, sensitivity, and respect. And no matter how old we are, we can start by setting aside our pride (or grievances) and telling our loved ones how much they…
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Asserting vs bullying
“The practice of assertiveness: being authentic in our dealings with others; treating people with respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways, in appropriate contexts.” ~ Nathaniel Branden, psychologist While most of us understand the concept, “assertiveness” isn’t always easy to practice. For some of us, being assertive can feel uncomfortable — even when it means standing up for ourselves or asking for what we deserve. On the other hand, sometimes we allow others to bully us or take advantage of our generosity.…
