Friendship and relationship advice
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The language of community
“When we love people, we share things with words. We share poems. We share songs. We share our favorite books. Because if we can make enough language bridges between the two of us, our hearts and minds will begin to know each other better.” ~Martha Beck This busy week has been all about sharing good books. On Tuesday night, I hosted our neighborhood book club, and last night I hosted a discussion of The Let Them Theory at the Blair Memorial Library’s “Self-Help Book Club.” Both book discussions were lively and thought-provoking. Best of all, I learned such interesting things about each person who reflected on what she had read.…
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A beautiful day in your neighborhood
“Building a community means fostering friendships that light up the neighborhood.” – Amy Williams As reported in a new Pew Research poll, only about a quarter of American adults know all or even most of their neighbors. Thanks to social media, we have scores of online friends around the country — but we can’t recall the names of the folks who live across the street. At most, we might wave at our neighbors from the car as we’re leaving the house. It takes time and shared experience to build solid relationships. Likewise, forging a friendly neighborhood requires care and effort. But work, family, and outside social commitments leave us little extra time…
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Why life is better without Facebook
“The biggest problem is that Facebook and Google are these giant feedback loops that give people what they want to hear. And when you use them in a world where your biases are constantly confirmed, you become susceptible to fake news, propaganda, and demagoguery.” ~ Franklin Foer This year I’m celebrating nine happy years of Facebook sobriety. Once I quit, my emotional wellbeing, social life, family relationships, and productivity all improved. I started reading more, writing more, spending more time with friends and neighbors, and enjoying the simple pleasures I had overlooked while I was scrolling for social media updates. Though I wrote this Oakland Press column a couple of…
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Luminosity
“Look carefully around you and recognize the luminosity of souls. Sit beside those who draw you to that.” ~Rumi Other people’s moods and opinions are as contagious as the common cold. In fact, there’s a clinical study suggesting that we become like the five people with whom we spend most of our time. According to this theory, if your spouse and peer group are serial pessimists and complainers, you might be one too. It’s also likely that you share the same political views. Psychological studies aside, I’m always drawn to folks who spread their sunshine and draw me out of the shadows when I’m down. In his best-selling book, How…
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Meaningful gifts
“Gratitude is an emotion that reflects our deep appreciation for what we value, what brings meaning to our lives, and what makes us feel connected to ourselves and others.” ~Brene Brown, Atlas of the Heart My nesting instincts kick in when summer winds down and the new school year begins. I’m motivated to move furniture, declutter my closets, and donate books to the library. Though it sounds like work, early fall cleaning makes me appreciate the changing season as well as the treasures in my home. The salt-glaze pottery shown in today’s photo is one example. It was a gift from my college pal, Libby, who moved to Virginia after…
