Friendship and relationship advice
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Open-hearted love
“We really have to understand the people we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.” ~Thich Nhat Hanh, Peace Is Every Step February is the month for posting thoughts about love. But I like to think of “love” as an all-encompassing word that wraps its meaning around more than romantic relationships. Love is the umbrella that shelters friendship and community. When we love our friends and neighbors, we want what’s best for them — not just ourselves.…
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When silence speaks volumes
“To say nothing is saying something. You must denounce things you are against, or one might believe that you support things you really do not.” ~Germany Kent As today’s quote suggests, silence can be misinterpreted. This got me thinking about a variety of complicated situations — including politics. (Don’t worry: I’m staying bipartisan here.) Recently, some friends and I agreed that when people refuse to discuss politics, we often assume that their beliefs and opinions don’t align with ours. Or maybe they don’t know us well enough to share their truth. Otherwise, they’d speak up, right? We could be wrong, of course. But speaking from experience, I’ve learned that others…
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The gift of your attention
“Nothing you can give will ever be more appreciated than your sincere, focused attention—your full presence. Truly being with someone, and listening without anticipation of the next event or what you’ll say next, is the ultimate compliment.” ~Marc Chernoff, Marc & Angel Hack Life As Christmas draws closer, I’m usually overwhelmed by holiday stress. Every morning, I wake up with a chorus of elves reciting a “to-do” list in my head: When are you going to finish your Christmas cards? What will you bring to the Christmas Eve party? What else do you need for the Christmas morning brunch you’re hosting? Have you overlooked anyone on your gift list? That’s…
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Abundance
“Love is something that if you give it away, you end up having more.” ~Malvina Reynolds For years I’ve been fascinated by the “law of abundance,” and I think there’s something to it. In a nutshell, the theory suggests that if you act on the belief that there’s always plenty to share, you’ll attract more good things in your life. In other words, the more you give — whether it’s love, time, money, attention, or produce from your garden — the more you get back. Conversely, if you’re miserly or overly protective of your own resources, you’re less likely to attract an abundance of anything. And if you keep taking…
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The company we keep
“Tell me with whom you associate and I will tell you who you are.” ~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe When I was a kid, my parents emphasized the value of choosing friends who were a positive influence — the ones who stayed out of trouble and earned good grades in school. My folks understood that our peers help shape who we become. With that in mind, they often repeated the adage, “Be careful with whom you associate, because you’re judged by the company you keep.” When we became parents, Doug and I made a point of getting to know our son’s school friends. We encouraged them to spend time in our…
