Civility and manners
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What does that remark say about you?
“Words are the clothing of our thoughts.” ~Jonathan Swift Human beings aren’t born knowing how to filter unkind thoughts. Children are notorious for expressing brutally frank opinions on everything they notice, from bad breath to obesity. But if we’re lucky enough to grow up among responsible adults, we learn some basic social skills — including civility, tact, and diplomacy. These days, too many adults think it’s fine to blurt whatever pops into their heads. Political leaders, in particular, have mastered the craft of the blatant insult. If speech is the “clothing of our thoughts,” as today’s quote suggests, it follows that boasting, name-calling, and crude remarks all reflect the character…
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If you did it, you own it
“You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them.” ~Marc Chernoff, Marc & Angel Hack Life At some point, we all mess up. Humans make spelling errors, burn the dinner, neglect to return phone calls, forget birthdays, miss deadlines, and turn the wrong way on one-way streets. Sometimes we send embarrassing text messages to the wrong people. Oops. Sometimes we say or do things that hurt other people’s feelings. Nobody leaves this world flawless and error-free. Yet we all know a few folks who refuse to admit their mistakes. And then there are the ones who manage to screw up a good apology with a…
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When “I’m sorry” isn’t enough
“If one by one we counted people out For the least sin, it wouldn’t take us long To get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.” ~ Robert Frost Years ago, when we were young, busy parents, Doug and I deeply disappointed a family member by forgetting to attend a Sunday dinner she’d invited us to attend. Stressed and overbooked at the time, we’d forgotten to write the date of the dinner on our kitchen calendar — so we missed it. Of course, I was totally mortified when our relative called to ask why we didn’t show up. Doug and…
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Listening skills
“One of the benchmarks of great communicators is their ability to listen — not just to what’s being said, but to what’s not being said as well. They listen between the lines.” ~ Laurie Buchanan I’ve always been interested in how communication impacts our daily lives. Good listening skills are as essential to healthy relationships as good talk. Thankfully, I’m married to a guy who’s an outstanding, empathetic listener. (That’s him in the background of the photo above.) He’s not one of those people who starts talking before you’ve finished what you’re trying to say. Listening carefully also improves your memory. When you focus on what someone is saying — and…
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How we see things
“We don’t see things as they are. We see them as we are.”~Anais Nin, memoirist We humans view everything through the lens of our personal experience, which includes our upbringing and education, where we’ve lived, and the people who form our tribe. Things get tricky when we encounter others who see things differently than we do. Whenever I’m offended, annoyed, or angered, I usually adopt a self-righteousness attitude. But that’s when I need to pause and consider the reasons behind another person’s offending actions, according to David Brooks in How to Know a Person. (Click on the previous link for my review of the book.) And that’s when a little…
