Civility and manners
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Can we talk?
“I once worked with someone who would only listen for about 15 seconds before interrupting — and then it was only to say something about himself….No matter how long we actually spoke, he just linked whatever you said back to himself and what he wanted to talk about. This effectively ended the conversation.” ~Jack Thomas, Good Conversations With the winter holidays in full swing, we’re attending or hosting more social gatherings than usual. This gives us more opportunities to enjoy real conversation and enrich our relationships. But according to several behavioral scientists, we’ve become so adept at connecting online (texting, emailing, etc.) that we’re actually losing our in-person communication skills.…
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Magical thinking and rash assumptions
“If we are honest with ourselves, we have to admit that sometimes our assumptions and preconceived notions are wrong, and therefore, our interpretation of events is incorrect. This causes us to overreact, to take things personally, or to judge people unfairly.” ~Elizabeth Thornton, Scottish author of historical fiction As every great magician knows, audiences interpret everything they see and hear through the filter of their own experience and beliefs. Sometimes they see and hear only what they wish to see and hear. It’s sobering, really, when you consider how easily any situation could be misjudged or misunderstood — or taken personally. For instance, you might wonder if friends are angry…
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Insensitive remarks
“I have never been hurt by what I have not said.” ~Calvin Coolidge All of us have been guilty of blurting insensitive remarks or sharing information we shouldn’t — usually without realizing it. We might say something off the top of our heads without thinking how someone else might interpret it. We might spread gossip that could hurt a relationship or make us appear untrustworthy. It’s easy to get tangled in our own verbiage — and it takes a heartfelt apology to smooth things out. To paraphrase a quote from Maya Angelou, people might forget exactly what we said, but they’ll always remember how we made them feel. In today’s…
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Point of view
“If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view — until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird Folks who lack empathy view everything solely from their own perspective. Putting their own needs first, they hear only what they want to hear. They rarely question if their actions are hurtful or offensive. They’re often convinced that their beliefs and opinions are the Universal Truth — and can’t understand why other people are sometimes at odds with…
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Cheap shots
“Tune out the cheap shots people take at you. Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.” ~Angel Chernoff These days, I have to limit the amount of time I listen to the news. Political rhetoric is nastier than ever. Sometimes I’m tempted to risk being uninformed — even though I know better. At the end of the day, what worries me most is the fact that the brutal political rhetoric has a ripple effect on the folks we encounter in our daily lives. Road rage is worse than ever. People don’t smile as much. (One of…
