Civility and manners
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Cheap shots
“Tune out the cheap shots people take at you. Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.” ~Angel Chernoff These days, I have to limit the amount of time I listen to the news. Political rhetoric is nastier than ever. Sometimes I’m tempted to risk being uninformed — even though I know better. At the end of the day, what worries me most is the fact that the brutal political rhetoric has a ripple effect on the folks we encounter in our daily lives. Road rage is worse than ever. People don’t smile as much. (One of…
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Active listening
“Active listening and communication will aid you in the ability to understand and relate to others’ feelings and circumstances.” ~Shannen Zitz, Prevention magazine Some folks can barely wait for others to stop talking so that they can start reciting their own monologues. That’s not “active listening.” What does it mean to be an active listener? Always curious, active listeners have a sincere interest in other people. They hush their egos and pay attention when other people speak; they’re not preoccupied with their own stories. They want to learn from others. Active listening requires that we focus on what the other person is saying — and retain the information long enough…
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“You look marvelous!”
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” ~Mark Twain There’s science to prove that flattery will get you everywhere. As reported in Medical Economics, researchers confirmed that people respond positively to flattery, even when they know the flatterer has an ulterior motive. Better yet, compliments can motivate us. When a supervisor praises our efforts at work, for instance, statistics show we’re likely to experience higher job satisfaction and stay in the position longer. In social situations, we’re also inclined to think positive thoughts about people who tell us we look nice or admire something we’ve done. Paying a sincere compliment is an act of generosity and it…
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The art of the apology
“Apologies require taking full responsibility. No half-truths, no partial admissions, no excuses, no rationalizations, no finger pointing, and no justifications belong in any apology.” ~Cathy Burnham Martin I admire people who know how to apologize. Admitting an error takes courage, and is never a sign of weakness. It might feel easier to kick your mistakes under the rug and act as if they never happened. Or blame someone else. Or make excuses. But refusing to admit you screwed up comes across as arrogant or uncaring — and it makes you look small. Worse yet, failure to apologize can damage a relationship beyond repair. Apologizing requires maturity and humility. If you…
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What does that remark say about you?
“Words are the clothing of our thoughts.” ~Jonathan Swift Human beings aren’t born knowing how to filter unkind thoughts. Children are notorious for expressing brutally frank opinions on everything they notice, from bad breath to obesity. But if we’re lucky enough to grow up among responsible adults, we learn some basic social skills — including civility, tact, and diplomacy. These days, too many adults think it’s fine to blurt whatever pops into their heads. Political leaders, in particular, have mastered the craft of the blatant insult. If speech is the “clothing of our thoughts,” as today’s quote suggests, it follows that boasting, name-calling, and crude remarks all reflect the character…
