Civility and manners
-
Point of view
“If you can learn a simple trick, Scout, you’ll get along a lot better with all kinds of folks. You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view — until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.” ~Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird Folks who lack empathy view everything solely from their own perspective. Putting their own needs first, they hear only what they want to hear. They rarely question if their actions are hurtful or offensive. They’re often convinced that their beliefs and opinions are the Universal Truth — and can’t understand why other people are sometimes at odds with…
-
Cheap shots
“Tune out the cheap shots people take at you. Don’t waste words on people who deserve your silence. Sometimes the most powerful thing you can say is nothing at all.” ~Angel Chernoff These days, I have to limit the amount of time I listen to the news. Political rhetoric is nastier than ever. Sometimes I’m tempted to risk being uninformed — even though I know better. At the end of the day, what worries me most is the fact that the brutal political rhetoric has a ripple effect on the folks we encounter in our daily lives. Road rage is worse than ever. People don’t smile as much. (One of…
-
Active listening
“Active listening and communication will aid you in the ability to understand and relate to others’ feelings and circumstances.” ~Shannen Zitz, Prevention magazine Some folks can barely wait for others to stop talking so that they can start reciting their own monologues. That’s not “active listening.” What does it mean to be an active listener? Always curious, active listeners have a sincere interest in other people. They hush their egos and pay attention when other people speak; they’re not preoccupied with their own stories. They want to learn from others. Active listening requires that we focus on what the other person is saying — and retain the information long enough…
-
“You look marvelous!”
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” ~Mark Twain There’s science to prove that flattery will get you everywhere. As reported in Medical Economics, researchers confirmed that people respond positively to flattery, even when they know the flatterer has an ulterior motive. Better yet, compliments can motivate us. When a supervisor praises our efforts at work, for instance, statistics show we’re likely to experience higher job satisfaction and stay in the position longer. In social situations, we’re also inclined to think positive thoughts about people who tell us we look nice or admire something we’ve done. Paying a sincere compliment is an act of generosity and it…
-
The art of the apology
“Apologies require taking full responsibility. No half-truths, no partial admissions, no excuses, no rationalizations, no finger pointing, and no justifications belong in any apology.” ~Cathy Burnham Martin I admire people who know how to apologize. Admitting an error takes courage, and is never a sign of weakness. It might feel easier to kick your mistakes under the rug and act as if they never happened. Or blame someone else. Or make excuses. But refusing to admit you screwed up comes across as arrogant or uncaring — and it makes you look small. Worse yet, failure to apologize can damage a relationship beyond repair. Apologizing requires maturity and humility. If you…
