Civility and manners
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“You look marvelous!”
“I can live for two months on a good compliment.” ~Mark Twain There’s science to prove that flattery will get you everywhere. As reported in Medical Economics, researchers confirmed that people respond positively to flattery, even when they know the flatterer has an ulterior motive. Better yet, compliments can motivate us. When a supervisor praises our efforts at work, for instance, statistics show we’re likely to experience higher job satisfaction and stay in the position longer. In social situations, we’re also inclined to think positive thoughts about people who tell us we look nice or admire something we’ve done. Paying a sincere compliment is an act of generosity and it…
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The art of the apology
“Apologies require taking full responsibility. No half-truths, no partial admissions, no excuses, no rationalizations, no finger pointing, and no justifications belong in any apology.” ~Cathy Burnham Martin I admire people who know how to apologize. Admitting an error takes courage, and is never a sign of weakness. It might feel easier to kick your mistakes under the rug and act as if they never happened. Or blame someone else. Or make excuses. But refusing to admit you screwed up comes across as arrogant or uncaring — and it makes you look small. Worse yet, failure to apologize can damage a relationship beyond repair. Apologizing requires maturity and humility. If you…
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What does that remark say about you?
“Words are the clothing of our thoughts.” ~Jonathan Swift Human beings aren’t born knowing how to filter unkind thoughts. Children are notorious for expressing brutally frank opinions on everything they notice, from bad breath to obesity. But if we’re lucky enough to grow up among responsible adults, we learn some basic social skills — including civility, tact, and diplomacy. These days, too many adults think it’s fine to blurt whatever pops into their heads. Political leaders, in particular, have mastered the craft of the blatant insult. If speech is the “clothing of our thoughts,” as today’s quote suggests, it follows that boasting, name-calling, and crude remarks all reflect the character…
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If you did it, you own it
“You can learn great things from your mistakes when you aren’t busy denying them.” ~Marc Chernoff, Marc & Angel Hack Life At some point, we all mess up. Humans make spelling errors, burn the dinner, neglect to return phone calls, forget birthdays, miss deadlines, and turn the wrong way on one-way streets. Sometimes we send embarrassing text messages to the wrong people. Oops. Sometimes we say or do things that hurt other people’s feelings. Nobody leaves this world flawless and error-free. Yet we all know a few folks who refuse to admit their mistakes. And then there are the ones who manage to screw up a good apology with a…
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When “I’m sorry” isn’t enough
“If one by one we counted people out For the least sin, it wouldn’t take us long To get so we had no one left to live with. For to be social is to be forgiving.” ~ Robert Frost Years ago, when we were young, busy parents, Doug and I deeply disappointed a family member by forgetting to attend a Sunday dinner she’d invited us to attend. Stressed and overbooked at the time, we’d forgotten to write the date of the dinner on our kitchen calendar — so we missed it. Of course, I was totally mortified when our relative called to ask why we didn’t show up. Doug and…
