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Black hole relationships
“Because we fear other people’s reactions and don’t know how to respond, we allow them to violate our limits and boundaries.” ~Sue Patton Thoele Is there a person at work or in your social circle who resents or dislikes you — despite your best attempts to be thoughtful and kind? Are you putting more into a one-sided friendship than you’re getting out of it? Do you ever wonder why some personalities fit together and others simply don’t click? If so, you might find some validation in my essay on “black hole relationships.” It’s excerpted from my essay collection, Writing Home, and is featured this week in Friendship Rules. Click here to…
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Make a note of it
“In this era of email and voice mail and all those things that I didn’t grow up with, a plain old paper letter takes on amazing intimacy.” ~Elizabeth Kostova Yesterday I found a hand-written thank you note in my mail slot, delivered by the husband of a neighbor who’s still recovering from joint-replacement surgery. I had dropped off a container of chili at their home a week earlier, knowing how hard it is to cook meals when you’re barely able to walk. This dear neighbor had extended the same kindness to me when I was recovering — and I certainly didn’t expect her to write a thank you note. Nonetheless,…
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September and transitions
“It is when we are in transition that we are most completely alive.” – William Bridges September is a month of transitions. A new school year begins; summer activities wind down. As the light changes and temperatures drop, we prepare our homes and gardens for winter. We begin to stock the pantry with everything we need for cool-weather comfort recipes. In one of my workshops, a woman remarked about the bittersweet aspects of autumn. She feels a little sad when fall comes, she said, despite the colorful beauty of the season. I knew exactly what she meant. A reminder of our own aging, late September prepares us for the changes…
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A no-regrets guide to caregiving
“There are only four kinds of people in the world: Those who have been caregivers. Those who are currently caregivers. Those who will be caregivers, and those who will need a caregiver.” ~Rosalyn Carter As our loved ones age — and as we age — caregiving becomes a reality we must face, one way or another. I learned during the first year of my widowed mother’s illness that caregiving duties can take a toll on you, especially if you’re not prepared. Written in retrospect, my “No-regrets Guide to Caregiving” appears this week online in The Oakland Press, and in the September print issue of Vitality. You can read it here.…
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How Karma works
“We awaken in others the same attitude of mind we hold toward them.” ~Elbert Hubbard We’ve all met people we don’t like. Sometimes our dislike stems from a series of hurtful, negative experiences. And other times it simply boils down to bad chemistry or a personality clash. In any event, people usually “sense” when we don’t care for them — even when we try to pretend otherwise. Not surprisingly, those feelings are reciprocated, and the distance between us grows. On the other hand, if we have positive, loving feelings toward someone, they’ll feel the love too. Consider the folks whose affection for you is enthusiastic and unconditional — the ones…
