Putting yourself last?

“Sometimes you have to put your own needs first, even if that doesn’t please others. You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.” ~Shannon Olson 

When I was younger, I often placed the needs and wishes of others before my own — even in matters as simple as choosing where to go out for dinner. Everyone else, it seemed, had better ideas or bigger problems to solve than I had. Even when I was overbooked with parenting duties or exhausted after caring for an elderly parent, I tried to make time for everyone who asked for it.

Maturity has given me permission to put myself first when I need to. Age has given me the self-respect to say “no” without apologizing — and to rest when I need to.

There’s a healthy balance, somewhere between “selfless” and “selfish.” It can get tricky sometimes, because I want to be generous, agreeable, and useful. But here’s one thing I know for sure: When I keep setting myself on fire to keep others warm, I usually end up burning with resentment. That’s not generous or useful to anyone. ~CL