Posts Tagged ‘women’s magazines’
Cindy on March 18th, 2011
The key to successful aging is to pay as little attention to it as possible.” ~Judith Regan
I get annoyed when the terms “anti-aging” and “age-defying” are used to market products to women who are barely out of high school.
Whether I’m thumbing through fashion/lifestyle magazines or surfing channels on TV, I’m bombarded with images of nubile celebrities touting the wonders of wrinkle creams, facial peels, and eye serums. And I rarely see photos of mature women representing my own middle-aged face or body when I browse through mail-order catalogs targeted to my own demographic.
So, I get the message: She who looks youngest wins.
Two years ago, I tried tackling this issue in one of my weekly columns on midlife issues. As a 50-something journalist, I vowed to join the campaign for honest aging. In my column, I promised to celebrate the beauty of graying temples and applaud the infectious charm of laugh lines. I also admitted that I plan to avoid cosmetic surgery (and that I’m terrified of Botox). I know the cliche is as exhausted as I am after a day of caring for my elderly mom, but I’m seriously trying to grow old gracefully.
“Women can look older and fabulous at the same time,” I wrote in the column. And I wasn’t suggesting that middle-aged women ought to give up on their looks. I even disclosed that my own medicine cabinet is an arsenal of anti-aging weapons. (Right now, there’s a back-up tube of Retinol and an outrageously expensive eye cream that promises to perform miracles just short of raising the dead.) But I added that we all need to be more realistic — and that we’d all be happier if we paid less attention to the beauty-and-fashion police.
Days after the column was published, I received many grateful notes and comments from women even younger than I am. But soon enough, my editor — a sharp woman in her twenties — e-mailed a disturbing note of caution.
“We’re getting complaints from plastic surgeons,” the editor warned me. “With so many plastic surgeons and cosmetic salons as our advertisers, it’s really important that we cater to them. So I am asking you to stop writing against face lifts and other cosmetic procedures. You can keep writing about the beauty of midlife, but be sure to say that cosmetic surgery is a good option.”
It was the first time in my 25 years as a columnist that I’d been told to alter or censor my editorial opinions. I was miffed – but not totally surprised. Though I’d learned years ago in journalism school that it’s unethical for editors to allow advertisers to drive their editorial content, experience has taught me that many publications – especially women’s magazines – are highly influenced by advertising dollars. The editor who scolded me was simply trying to keep her job.
At 56, I hope to keep working and writing as long as there are markets open to me. I’d like to use my years of experience to enhance the quality of life for other women my age. Yet I know it won’t be easy to write honestly about aging in a culture that worships at the temple of youth. Meanwhile, it’s worth remembering that the “advice” you read in most beauty and fashion magazines is barely skin deep, if not totally inspired or supported by advertising dollars. – Cindy La Ferle
–A different version of this column originally appeared in the Oakland Press. Photos by Cindy La Ferle–
Cindy on January 23rd, 2011
I’m at my best in a messy, middle of the road muddle.” — Harold Wilson, British politician
For years I’ve had a love-hate relationship with women’s magazines. Reading them is one of my favorite guilty pleasures — because it’s pure fun to monitor trends in fashion and home decor.
I’ve also been published in several well-respected shelter magazines, so I don’t like to bite the hands that have fed me. Still, I’m not comfortable with the fact that so many of these publications manage to inspire guilt and insecurity in the most confident among us. This month, especially, you’ll find countless articles explaining why you need to get organized or how to “simplify” your cluttered life forever.
You can read what I have to say about all this in today’s edition of Royal Oak Patch. Several friends have already joined the discussion, so feel free to chime in on the Patch site. I’d love to know how you “simplify” your life. Please click here. –CL
Cindy on July 11th, 2010
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.” ~Mark Twain
I have a love-hate relationship with fashion — or, should I say, fashion trends? I’m suspicious of magazines that try to dictate what’s in and what’s out. And I resent the fashion editors and “style experts” who make me feel old or uncool or unattractive if I’m not following their advice or wearing what they advertise. (Who the heck are these people, anyway?)
Yet I’ve always adored beautifully crafted and unusual clothes, new and old.
I’m especially intrigued by vintage clothing, and for years I’ve haunted thrift shops in search of one-of-a-kind treasures to mix with my own wardrobe basics. What I enjoy most about vintage pieces is how they make an outfit totally personal — especially when combined with something classic or relatively new.
Among my favorite pieces: A vintage Christian Dior tux jacket; a way-cool military style coat with unusual detailing; and a double-breasted black polyester blazer with big buttons, circa 1975. I also own vintage scarves, belts, and evening bags — always handy for jazzing up an outfit. While some of my evening dresses from the 1920s, ’30s, and ’40s are collectibles and not entirely suitable for wearing out, I use and enjoy most of my vintage clothing.
Luckily, I have a large attic for storing my finds. And lately, some of the things I’ve collected have come in handy for my part-time work as a background extra in films. Typically, background actors are given costume guidelines and asked to bring their own clothes to a shoot. The wardrobe department must approve our choices, or provide another option. The more clothing options we have, the more likely we are to make the production people happy — and ultimately snare more bookings. So it helps to keep a variety of clothing at the ready for this type of work.
Earlier this summer, though, Doug and I were cast in a scene calling for western wear, which sent us on a quick search for western-style shirts and cowboy hats. This isn’t the sort of attire we’d typically sport in suburban Detroit unless we were invited to a Halloween party. So thank goodness for the local thrift shops, which happened to have all kinds of affordable options.
A week later, we were booked for two scenes set in 1980s Paris. As it happens, I own an Ungaro khaki blazer and a cool trench coat (both thrift-shop finds) from the era. I made a quick trip to the Salvation Army thrift store (during their summer sale) and picked up a couple of 1980s dresses for less than four dollars each. I brought it all to the fitting with my vintage Chanel scarf — and voila! – the wardrobe people were duly impressed.
Whether I’m shopping for a costume or my personal wardrobe, I carefully examine thrift-shop clothing for damage before I make a purchase. I’m not an accomplished seamstress, but I’m handy with minor repairs and stain removal — and always willing to change buttons.
An added bonus: Some of the best thrift shops in my community support local charities, or are run by charitable organizations. It feels good to know that my purchases will benefit others in need. Fashion is fleeting, after all, and I’m glad I don’t have to break the bank for it. – Cindy La Ferle
If you’re new to “thrifting” or want to learn more about vintage clothing, start with a copy of The Little Guide to Vintage Shopping, by Melody Fortier, which provides a good introduction and is one of the newer books on the topic.
Cindy on May 23rd, 2009
âThis is what 40 looks like. We’ve been lying so long, who would know?â â Gloria Steinem
Several years ago, the Olay company sent me a T-shirt that reads: âLove the skin you’re in.â The promotion works, like a sticky song on the radio, because I never did get that catchphrase out of my mind.
Most of my girlfriends and I have decided that drugstore creams — including Olay products — work just about as well as the hundred dollar anti-aging potions sold in better department stores. And we should know. We’ve tried them all.
None of us are superficial women. We have college degrees and graduate degrees, sturdy families, and careers we enjoy. But we’re still not sure what to make of the changing faces in our mirrors, so we keep on searching for the elixir that guarantees its promise of eternal youth. No matter how far we’ve traveled, we still regard aging as our final frontier. A cruel adversary to be conquered at any cost.
Which is odd, really, since advertising copywriters keep telling us that “we’re not getting older; we’re getting better.”
So why can’t we visit a drug store or cosmetic counter without being reminded that our faces and bodies need to be altered, repaired, firmed, smoothed, exfoliated, or lifted entirely? En route to a bottle of aspirin or shampoo, we pass beauty aisles stocked with retinoids, beta hydroxy acid peels, and other chemical formulas designed to dissolve our encroaching wrinkles and tell-tale age spots.
Women’s magazines only serve to support the notion that we’re seriously damaged and need to be fixed. (Of course, magazines are all about selling products, so who’s surprised?) Look at all those “mature” fashion models whose careers have been resuscitated to appease our aging demographic:Â They barely look a day over thirty-five. The message to middle-aged women is that it really doesn’t matter what we’ve achieved through education, experience, or sheer perseverance. If we don’t look years younger than we are, well, we don’t look good enough.
My husband tells me that men have aging angst too — although cosmetic issues don’t boggle them quite so much. He’s cool about losing his hair and leaving what’s left in its striking shade of gray. I think he looks terrific and, yes, dignified.
Then again, guys are comfortable with looking âdignified,â and I suspect it’s because we give them full permission to ripen. We don’t marginalize older men the way we marginalize older women. Most guys get on with the natural process of aging — and some of them actually seize the real privileges of maturity.
Not long before Paul Newman died, his weathered face graced the cover of a national business magazine. The photo stopped me in my tracks at a local newsstand. I was immediately struck by the depth and wisdom reflected in those famous blue eyes. And it occurred to me that aging is elegance when it’s allowed to tell its own truth.
Years ago, as a college student, I worked at the cosmetics counter of an upscale department store in suburban Detroit. I’ll never forget a customer in her late fifties (I’ll call her Mrs. Smith) who haunted our counters twice weekly for the ultimate anti-aging cream. She remains an eerie icon of the woman I don’t want to become.
Married to a wealthy businessman, Mrs. Smith was terrified of aging. She’d had several facelifts and other surgical procedures, yet she looked like a sad marionette, a caricature of her younger self. Chronically disappointed, she often came back to the store to return the creams that âdidn’t work.â
Ever so tactfully, we all tried to explain that cosmetics could enhance maturing beauty — but they couldn’t totally reverse the handiwork of Mother Time. But Mrs. Smith didn’t love the skin she was in, and I swear she kept our whole department in business that year. — Cindy La Ferle
– For more columns of special interest to women at midlife, please visit the “MIDPOINT columns” archives at right, under Categories.–
I get annoyed when the terms “anti-aging” and “age-defying” are used to market products to women who are barely out of high school.
“We’re getting complaints from plastic surgeons,” the editor warned me. “With so many plastic surgeons and cosmetic salons as our advertisers, it’s really important that we cater to them. So I am asking you to stop writing against face lifts and other cosmetic procedures. You can keep writing about the beauty of midlife, but be sure to say that cosmetic surgery is a good option.”
