Cindy on November 21st, 2011
The willingness to share does not make one charitable; it makes one free. ~Robert Brault
At a holiday book signing last week, I met another author who enjoys all aspects of publishing a book — except for self-promotion. We chatted about the hard realities of keeping our books on store shelves and Amazon.com; about how exhausting it can be to get out there and hustle.
As much as we like to meet our readers, writers tend to be more comfortable recording our thoughts quietly at home. That said, we can’t sell books if we hide behind a desk or a laptop.
So, here’s my shameless annual holiday plug for Writing Home. For every new copy sold between now and January 1st, I will donate $5 to the Welcome Inn, a day shelter serving the homeless in my community from mid December until mid March. The Inn offers case management services, a cereal breakfast, hot lunch, showers, laundry, online computers, clothing, and a variety of other services. With southeast Michigan’s economy at an all-time low, things are even tougher for people without homes and jobs, not to mention organizations like the Welcome Inn.
I’ve been donating my Writing Home profits every holiday season because “home” has always topped my gratitude list — and I want to give back to my community. I’ve been blessed, all my life, to live in wonderful homes with an incredibly supportive family, surrounded by caring neighbors. Which is, pretty much, what the stories in Writing Home are all about.
If you’re looking for something under $20 for the reader on your gift list, please consider visiting Amazon.com and buying a new copy of my book. (Link provided above.) In Oakland County, stop by the Yellow Door Art Market, where you’ll find my book as well as other gift items made by professional Michigan artists.
From my home to yours, I am wishing you a wonderful Thanksgiving — and many blessings to count.
–Holiday photo by Cindy La Ferle-
Cindy on October 31st, 2009
Children are a great comfort in old age, and they help you reach it much faster, too.” — Lionel M. Kaufman
Take it from a seasoned parent. There comes a time in every mother’s life when she realizes parts of her wardrobe shouldn’t be flaunted in front of teenage boys. And I’m not talking about thong underwear.
This hit me several years ago while the family and I were getting ready to visit my favorite art fair in Royal Oak — an annual summer event that typically draws crowds of creative types, including some neighbors we haven’t seen all winter. I wanted to dress for the occasion. Scouring my closet, I chose a nice black T-shirt and an ankle-length peasant skirt. It was a departure from my traditional blazer-with-jeans uniform, but still within the bounds of good taste.
Or so I thought. The silver bracelet is what got me in trouble. Rescued from a flea-market, the vintage cuff was two inches wide and etched with a subtle ethnic design. Not all that remarkable — unless, of course, you were looking at it through the discerning eyes of an adolescent boy.
“You’re not wearing that giant bracelet in public, are you?” asked Nate, glaring at my wrist.
“Why not?” I shot back.
“You look like a Babylonian… Or maybe a barbarian,” the kid said, choosing his words carefully. A week earlier he announced that my feet looked “Cro-Magnon” in sandals. Apparently I’d morphed into a badly dressed savage.
What could I do? When the same kid was a cranky infant, I couldn’t treat his diaper rash without consulting a stack of childcare guides. Soon enough, though, Doug and I were navigating the choppy waters of parenthood without much advice from Penelope Leach or T. Berry Brazelton, the most respected parenting experts of our era. Living by our wits, we maneuvered through mealtime face-offs and nerve-racking episodes with the neighborhood bully. We even managed to steer a fairly civilized carpool. But things changed when our little boy began slouching toward adolescence. We needed more help from the experts.
Just in time, Doug found a copy of Anthony Wolf’s aptly titled guide, Get Out of My Life, but First Could You Drive Me and Cheryl to the Mall? (Noonday Press). As the author notes, today’s youth “are vastly different” from kids forty years ago. Just for starters, their social and academic pressures are more complicated, more intense.
“Teenagers treat adults in their lives in a manner that is less automatically obedient, much more fearless, and definitely more outspoken than that of previous generations,” writes Wolf, who happens to be a parent as well as a clinical psychologist. Many adolescents, he says, feel trapped between the growing need for independence and the secret wish to cling to childhood — an agonizing conflict if ever there was one.
“The two main forces of adolescence are the onset of sexuality and the mandate that demands that teenagers turn away from childhood and parents,” Wolf writes. Not only do teenagers see their parents as grossly flawed, he adds, “they also find them outright embarrassing, especially if seen with them anywhere outside the home.”
This explains why your teenager will hug you in the kitchen when nobody is looking but never, ever, in the school parking lot. Or why he ridicules your impeccable fashion sense and mostly wishes you were invisible.
Let me assure you that this too shall pass. Even the mouthiest teens can grow up to be agreeable, well-adjusted human beings. In the meantime they need our patience, love, and a healthy dose of discipline. But patience can be the hardest part, especially for barbarians. – Cindy La Ferle
A slightly different version of this essay is reprinted in my book, Writing Home.
Cindy on April 27th, 2009
“I like trees because they seem more resigned to the way they have to live than other things do,” — Willa Cather, O Pioneers
Environmentalist Maria Rodale wrote that people who live near trees have stronger family ties than those who live in treeless areas. âTrees create a sanctuary around us,â Rodale noted in an essay for Organic Style. âThey certainly make us feel grounded and safe.â
I know exactly what Rodale meant. On the boulevard across the street from my home, a trio of Bradford pear trees is ready to burst into snowy bloom. Surrounded by smaller stands of lilac, the pear trees are typically the first to flower. I look forward to their annual display in late April and early May — and I’m always relieved when I return from spring vacation to see I haven’t missed it. While it might not seem like such a big deal to anyone else, I’m proud of this contribution to my neighborhood landscape.
My little grove began with a single tree, which I ordered from the City of Royal Oak the first spring in our present home. In subsequent years I added two more Bradford pears. Today, everyone in our immediate family is represented by a flowering tree. And like the three of us, each tree has filled out over the past 16 years — a natural reminder of how quickly we’re all changing. My son was in kindergarten when the first spindly Bradford pear tree was planted; around this time last year he graduated college. Like every mom I know, I often repeat the sentimental cliche: Where did all those years fly?
Come fall, the foliage on our pear trees will turn bright orange, then crimson. And just as I do every year, I’ll admire the color show from our dining room window and console myself with the fact that everything, including the local landscape, is evolving right on schedule. – Cindy La Ferle
– Parts of this post were excerpted from my essay collection, Writing Home (copyright 2005) –
Cindy on February 5th, 2008
Special thanks to the Detroit Free Press for the feature they’ve published on my role as the new Writer-in-Residence for the Royal Oak Public Library. Community support has been fabulous. I’m also very grateful to the ROPL and to all of the local writers who’ve helped launch this program so successfully. – CL
Cindy on November 15th, 2007
Notice anything new? I’ve added a whole new section under “Categories.” At the suggestion of one of my workshop students, I’m archiving all writing-related items under Just for Writers. This is where you’ll find previous tips or columns on new writing guides and author interviews, as well as announcements on Writer-in-Residence programs at the Royal Oak Public Library. (Details on my workshops are still posted in the “New Writing Workshops” section at the top of this Web page.) – CL
At a holiday book signing last week, I met another author who enjoys all aspects of publishing a book — except for self-promotion. We chatted about the hard realities of keeping our books on store shelves and Amazon.com; about how exhausting it can be to get out there and hustle.
