In the November issue of AARP magazine, editor Robert Love saluted the 39.8 million Americans who currently provide unpaid care to an adult, dubbing them both “noble” and selfless.
During the last six years of my mothers life, I inherited the task of managing her long battle with vascular dementia. Had you asked me then, I would have described myself as anything but “noble.” Most of the time I felt scared and frazzled. In retrospect, I see what I could have done better.
In the December issue of Michigan Prime, delivered with your Sunday Detroit Free Press, I share a few tips from my “No-Regrets Caregiving Guide.” Click here to read my column (page 6) in the online edition.
My parents died before I became an adult. Therefore, I had/have no one to care for. My sister’s untimely death left me quite unable to accept. As my husband and I continue to age, I’ll work hard to remember this column. Sadly, I witness friends who have little patience for their spouse. Unkind things are said and done so difficult to not blame them. I appreciated your advice very much. Words to keep handy as the need arises-and it will-as we travel the remaining time we each have. Regret is, sadly, the human response to being human. The need to care for ourselves is great; and, although not something we immediately acknowledge, it’s importance can’t be overlooked. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Thanks for your kind words, Harriet. I am so sorry to read about your losses — not easy, for sure.
A fine article on what to do in this situation. I know there were times as I cared for my husband that I wanted to fight the obligation.
Thanks so much, “Momma”