26 thoughts on “Why I quit Facebook

  1. Well said. What I would really like to do is only read a handful of Most Important People updates. I haven’t figured out how to do that yet on FB. They make it easy on Twitter. I’ve noticed that I’m writing less fiction and status updating more. I joined Twitter a while back as a marketing strategy (it doesn’t work for that but I’ve “met” many cool people), and between Tweets and FB, I often forget to look at my favorite blogs! And I adore blogs. Especially yours!

  2. I do wonder how people have all kinds of time to spend “on” FB. I have fewer than 4 dozen friends and “see” regular updates of about a dozen. The others I check in with periodically by going directly to their page. I joined to see the status and photos of my kids, two now living across the country. I loved seeing photos of my son’s ski trip this past weekend, which I wouldn’t have seen without FB. I think there is a time and place for everything, and you’ve made the right choice for you right now, Cindy. It’s not easy to “unplug” and I give you lots of credit. If I can figure out how to do it, I will post a link to this post on my FB page. *smile*

  3. Great article Cindy, and thank you for mentioning my book Lessons from Madame Chic! I have included your article (with link) in my blog post this week on my favorite deodorant (which ironically is probably oversharing and very unmysterious! But as bloggers we are in a tricky situation- mystique wise- non?) 🙂 Best wishes to you xx

  4. It’s ok – I still know how to find you when you have something to say –

    I remain, happily still subscribed to your blog through my RSS reader,


  5. BRAVO!!!!!
    And I would much rather have 3 dimensional relationships any day. Makes me feel sad for what our kids will miss by being plugged in 24/7.
    Hang in there friend, you’re doing a great job 🙂

  6. Amen. I have never gotten into Facebook,and didn’t understand how people managed to fit that into their days. Can’t figure it all out, not interested in who makes bean soup on Thursdays. I have a page and would love to take it down but have better things to do with my time.

    Can’t wait to read Jennifer Scott’s book, however. French women do have that inimitable je ne sais quoi.

  7. WOW – you did hit the nail on the head with this post. Interestingly, I got on FB because my niece insisted on it so “the family” could keep up with each other. I have resisted adding a lot of friends since I don’t know them and they don’t know me. I have done the almighty “UNfriending” especially when overrun by ads and shares from the friends. On some I just blocked and can go over to read them at my will. Anyway, I am going to share this on FB. You have a lot of good things to say in this post and they should be shared. Love ya!

  8. Oh all of these boundary issues are so fascinating to me! I protect my privacy by my bloggy moniker and have an IRL Facebook page for another dimension and then they overlap at times with some people! Thanks for your thoughts and observations, got me thinking as always Cindy!
    I rarely post my status but I am a great stalker. Wish I had more people in my life to have lunch with- coming to VT?

    • Starrlife, I would LOVE to come to Vermont to have lunch with you — and maybe I will one day! Thanks for your kind comments. Late in the game, I did start a new Facebook page just to promote this blog and links to my writings (it’s still active, but not updated). Problem was, I then had 2 different FB pages to manage in addition to this blog.

      Again, I am trying to balance my life and budget my time with great care, because I have so much to handle with my elderly mom these days.

      But I like the idea of separating personal news from promotional stuff, when possible. In a DIY, self-promotional world, it IS getting harder to sense when you’ve overstepped boundaries between friendship and business, isn’t it? Maybe it doesn’t matter anymore?

      Cindy La Ferle’s Home Office & Blog began as an extension of my newspaper columns and writing life, then morphed into something more personal. Like you, I’m fascinated by how much personal information we ALL share now. I’m drawn to the new books and articles — many by respected social psychologists — that question how “healthy” all of this is. And in this personal post, I didn’t even touch on the bullying (on Facebook) that goes on among young students — or how social media can make some users feel even more lonely and excluded.

      I get embarrassed by my own over-sharing sometimes, yet find it cathartic too. And hey, I also write *personal* essays and memoir, so maybe I should shut up about all of this! 🙂 Anyhoo, it’s really a matter of deciding how much is right for us — and where and how we want to spend our time.

  9. Well said. I have long been skeptical about the virtues of FB and Myspace before that. But then I thought I should try them before putting them down. Sure, they can be fun, but mostly, after the novelty wears off, more time wasting than enriching.
    I’ve always been fiercely private and have never felt comfortable sharing as much as I see many people share. I’ve at times wondered if I’m a privacy freak having become expert at the privacy settings. But I’m glad I am. Though even that is getting tedious to keep up wiht with each FB redesign.
    I’m not on there as much lately and life is just fine. And I admit, the other day while yet again updating my privacy prefs, I saw that deactivate button and wondered: Hmmm. What if…?
    I do miss you on there but am glad I know where to find you (here, email, phone, and address!).

    • Ellen, thank you. And like you, I think it’s important to try Facebook, and other social media — at least for a while. The worst thing, at this age, is to bury our heads in the sand. I know a few people in their 50s — which I still consider young 🙂 — who don’t feel comfortable with a computer and rarely even use email. I think this is a mistake, as technology opens the world to us in many ways. I’ve met people in their 70s and 80s whose lives have expanded because they were willing to learn how to use email, social media, etc.

      That said, the key is balancing our time — or paying attention to how MUCH time we spend on a computer vs how much time we spend connecting in person with close friends and loved ones.

      It’s about civility too. I do notice that social media also fosters rudeness and lack of sensitivity lately. People feel they can say things they wouldn’t say in person, and “silence” (not responding to email or a Facebook post, for example) can be misread or misunderstood.

      All in all, this is about respecting our own boundaries. I think someone else used the word “boundaries” earlier in this discussion. Technology/social media often invade our personal boundaries, and I notice that younger people could use a wake-up call in that area.

  10. Thank you so much for these great points you made in your post. I have been feeling Facebook Fatigue lately, and now I know why! I joined 5 years ago and frankly most of the FB statuses I have read from so-called friends sound forced, or contrived. Your article brought to light all the nagging thoughts I surpressed in the back of my mind…

  11. Brava! I’m really glad this was posted on FB b/c I’d forgotten about your blog, which I truly enjoy reading and probably wouldn’t have remembered how to access it (comp. challenged). FB has become overwhelmed w/many jokes, etc.–just like email used to be. Of course, now my emails read like the ad pg in a newspaper–really frustrating. So I will continue trying to find you, my dear friend, b/c truth be told, it was due to FB that we reconnected and were able to share the experiences we have in common. Many blessings to you and your family. Love and peace, Cindy

    • Cindy, thanks so much for this comment. And I agree — if it weren’t for FB, we wouldn’t have reconnected! That’s why I hate to throw the baby out with the bath water, and it’s likely that I will return, later, to Facebook after I get things in order with my mother, my own routine. She is still experiencing problems in the assisted living residence, still requiring a lot from my time and energy. As I started typing this, I just got a call from the nurse telling me that my mom’s heart rates are still WAY too high this weekend, so I need to get her to the cardiologist asap … almost had to take her to ER on Friday night. So, in short, it still is best for me to have as little “distraction” as possible in my life, for now. But again, I truly enjoyed reconnecting with you, and other CHS pals, through FB. Truly! Miss you too, Cindy….

  12. Hi Cindy…absolutely love this article but I must admit that I miss your postings on FB! Loved seeing your artwork, Doug’s art and hearing especially about your mom. I am one of those fifty-plus people who isn’t terribly computer savvy and I am still trying to figure out FB but I truly enjoyed reconnecting with you! I begged my daughter to set-up my FB account and I still need to call on her when it gets a little crazy. Some day I will find the balance we all so desperately seek but at this point FB is almost like a lifeline for me. It lets me read about people that I have lost touch with, connect with new friends, promote the Cathy Cares page, and just relax for a few minutes each day. Please come back to FB soon cuz girlfriend “I MISS YOU”!!…and I do NOT know how to work the other pages on this danged computer, LOL!!!!

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