Posts Tagged ‘recreation’
Cindy on February 4th, 2009
“The imagination needs moodling — long, inefficient, happy idling, dawdling, and puttering.” — Brenda Ueland
Right now, the landscape outside my office window looks more like the moon than southeast Michigan. Even when the sun shines, my seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is always at its worst in February. Meanwhile, several of my friends are heading to Florida this week. And I’m not.
When SAD strikes, I find it hard to concentrate or to get motivated. I get crabby and impatient and fed-up with people I’m usually fond of. But after years of battling it, I’ve learned that the best antidote — barring a trip to Bermuda — is a long afternoon of guilt-free puttering.
Cheaper than air fare or psychotherapy, puttering lets your mind wander while your body hangs out around the house. And unlike fall housecleaning, which involves physical energy and high-powered appliances, puttering puts you in a Zen-like state of bliss. Not to be confused with slacking, fidgeting, fiddling, or piddling, puttering is good for mental health. In fact, Brenda Ueland, author of the classic If You Want to Write, insisted that long periods of “moodling” (her word for puttering) are essential to the creative process.
Sadly, ours is a goal-directed, work-till-you-drop culture. And since most of us like to boast about how terribly busy we are, puttering is never easy to pull off.
For those who practice on the sly, like I do, puttering styles are varied and highly personal.
Puttering can be the act of sorting through a box of college textbooks in the basement; tinkering under the hood of an old Chevy; or rearranging things on a shelf while you listen to jazz on the stereo. In other words, puttering is a way of clarifying life’s myriad details, especially when it’s done with reverence for the objects at hand. It’s an opportunity to reconsider what we most enjoy in our homes, and to make a mental list of what we’d like to edit later.
Feeling sluggish and blue last week, I decided to putter in the kitchen. Taking inventory of my good china, I lost myself in happy memories of the two grandmothers who had actually used all the serving pieces for holiday dinners. I marveled, too, at how both sets of dishes have survived several moves and kitchen renovations â and somehow outlived their original owners.
If puttering still sounds like a chore you’ve postponed, it’s only because you haven’t found a method that cheers or relaxes you. One man’s notion of drudgery, after all, can be another’s idea of soul craft.
“I can’t explain it, but I enjoy doing dishes,” writes Thomas Moore, a former Catholic monk and author of Care of the Soul. “I’ve had an automatic dishwasher in my home for over a year, and I have never used it. What appeals to me, I think, is the reverie induced by going through the ritual of washing, rinsing, and drying.” Thomas Moore can come over to my house and wash dishes any time he visits Detroit (especially if his visit coincides with another power failure). Meanwhile, I’ll keep loading my dishwasher.
Still, there’s merit in savoring the ordinary tasks of daily living.
A lot of us spend our lives reaching for lofty goals, or at least trying to look productive 24/7. This wouldn’t be such a bad thing if so many of us weren’t scratching our heads and wondering what’s missing even after we’ve won all the trophies. (Consider all those baby-boomer executives who can’t wait to retire.)
âMy life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?â observed Charles M. Schulz, creator of Peanuts. Charlie Brown, after all, was pretty good at puttering. — Cindy La Ferle
– Parts of this essay are excerpted from Writing Home –
Cindy on December 27th, 2008
“If all the year were playing holidays, to sport would be as tedious as work.” — William Shakespeare.
I love the small breathing space between Christmas Day and New Year’s Eve. As much as I enjoy shopping and cooking for family and dear friends, I also appreciate the chance to steal some quiet time to reflect on the past year. I’ll be back to share some thoughts for the new year in a couple of days.
P.S. A big thank you to everyone who purchased Writing Home as a holiday gift this year! Earlier this week, the book was sold out again on Amazon. From the proceeds I wrote a check to the Welcome Inn warming shelter hosted at the Unity church here in Royal Oak, and another to the Salvation Army. –CL
Cindy on December 6th, 2008
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” — Mary Oliver
So, I asked a newly retired newspaper columnist if she’s planning to start a blog — especially now that her work isn’t appearing regularly in print. I’ve admired her beautiful writing for a long time, I told her, and would happily read anything she cares to post.
“Does the world really need another blog?” she shot back, adding that it’s hard enough to keep up with her e-mail — not to mention Facebook, Twitter, Gather, LinkedIn, and all the other “distractions” online. “Who in the world has time for all of that?” she said. “Now that I’m retired, I want my real life back.”
My columnist friend got me thinking about how much time I’ve been spending online in recent years. After putting in two or three hours (daily) on writing projects or assignments, my routine goes something like this:
- Answer e-mail
- Work on posts for various Web sites (including 50-something Moms)
- Update status on Facebook
- Visit friends’ blogs and leave comments
- Surf the Web for juicy political articles
Before I know it, morning has morphed into afternoon, and I’ve only left my desk to refill my coffee mug. Hanging out in cyberspace was perfectly fine — even ideal — when my son was much younger and needed a stay-at-home mom. But the kid is 23 now, and lives five hours from home. Besides, even when he was in middle school, the Internet didn’t monopolize my time.
So what did I do with my “one wild and precious life” before a keyboard became part of my anatomy?
I accomplished so much more. For starters, I generated a lot more article proposals for print publications. I read more books. Met friends regularly for lunch or dinner. Started and completed more art projects. Rode my mountain bike, took longer walks, or worked in the garden. Explored local businesses and flea markets. Pored through cookbooks and tested new recipes on my appreciative family.
Like my retired friend, I want that life back again.
Trying an experiment this week, I limited my “social time” on the computer to 45 minutes per day. (That includes checking e-mail, surfing, and visiting blogs.) At first it felt weird, since I’ve been compulsive about checking my e-mail several times a day. But soon I felt happier, more creative — and liberated from the tyranny of my computer. I felt as if I’d finally seized control of my free time.
During that free time this week, I made a few simple Christmas gifts for friends, then completed an altered art project to enter in upcoming exhibition. After cleaning my art studio, I picked out a pretty note card and wrote a heartfelt message to a college room mate. (Imagine her surprise when she gets snail mail from me!) Later in the week, I cut evergreen branches to decorate the empty planters on the porch. I called my mother more often, just to talk. I even had time to plan a small party for dear friends whose December birthdays typically get lost in the holiday shuffle.
Once again, I began to appreciate the sacred in the ordinary.
My late father used to talk a lot about the importance of life balance. “Everything in moderation” was one of his favorite catchphrases, and he used it whenever the topic of substance abuse or addiction came into the conversation. This fall, I realized that my computer use was bordering on obsession or addiction. And like any addiction, it was impacting my attitude and relationships with the most important people in my life. I knew I needed to come up for air.
I truly enjoy posting blogs and following colleagues on Facebook. I love surfing the Net and making new discoveries, new friends. And I love reading the blogs of other writers. I can’t “quit” entirely — but from now on, I’ll try to spend less time hugging my computer. – Cindy La Ferle
Please note:Â I’ll still continue to post essays, short blogs, or announcements at least twice a week.
Cindy on November 30th, 2008
I think it’s important to take a break, you know, from the public eye for a while, and give people a chance to miss you. I want longevity. I don’t 
want to get out there and run myself ragged and spread myself thin.” — Aaliyah
I’ll be back with some regular posts in a few days… For now, I need to get my house in order, tend to some holiday art projects in the “real” world, and spend some holiday time with friends. I hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving, with many blessings to count. — CL
Cindy on August 25th, 2008
My favorite comedy routine is the one in which Steve Martin blanks out in the middle of a monologue, then beams a vacant smile and informs his audience that he’s momentarily “visiting the Bahamas.” Martin redefined the ultimate dream vacation — which seems to be the only type of vacation most women can schedule these days.
Back when I was editor of a travel magazine, I studied the psychological benefits of taking real vacations. At a seminar for innkeepers and hotel managers, I was excited to learn that scads of scientific research had been done to determine what made female guests happy, and what inspired them to return for future holidays. Was it a room with a gorgeous view? Complimentary chocolate truffles? Bellhops who looked like Brad Pitt?
As it turned out, most women listed crisply laundered sheets, spanking-clean bathrooms, and attentive room service as top amenities on the hotel surveys. Or, as a mother of three explained recently, the best part of her family vacation to Disney World was simply returning every night to the hotel suite and discovering that the cleaning fairies had made all the beds.
So, lately I’ve been thinking: If women love to be pampered, why is it that so few of us book personal vacations when we need them? Why is it so hard for us to hit âpauseâ? Despite all the labor-saving devices that modern living affords, we still can’t shake our Puritan work ethic. Whether we’re buying groceries for a family of five or sprinting to the next marketing meeting, our lives are fractioned like the to-lists in our day planners. There’s never enough time.
Worse yet, the media have brainwashed us into thinking that free time isn’t for leisure anymore. If we’re not designing our own line of furniture or auditioning for the symphony on our lunch breaks, we feel like slackers. It’s tough to justify a fifteen-minute soak at home in a Crabtree & Evelyn bubble bath, let alone a week at a spa.
Years ago, when I was a younger mom with an office job and a preschooler, an editor with whom I worked was kind enough to share her well-thumbed copy of Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s inspirational classic, Gift from the Sea. First published in 1955, this little book of reflections was written during the famous author’s solitary retreats to an isolated beach house.
Using seashells to represent the various stages of a woman’s life, Lindbergh wrote with amazing clarity about issues that still baffle us today — how to find spiritual serenity in suburban chaos; how to manage work and family; how to jazz up a droopy marriage.
Just as Virginia Woolf reminded us that we need a room of our own in which to dream and create, Lindbergh gave busy wives and mothers permission to schedule precious time alone. I desperately needed that permission â and am forever indebted to the editor who loaned me Lindbergh’s book.
“The problem is not merely one of Woman and Career, Woman and the Home, Woman and Independence,â Lindbergh wrote. âIt is more basically: how to remain whole in the midst of the distractions of life.â A deserted beach is the ideal place to hear one’s inner voice, she emphasized. Wandering the shore minus goals, deadlines, or diaper bags, a woman can replenish her depleted soul and reclaim her sanity.
Revisiting Gift from the Sea 20 years later, I realize I still need âa central core to my lifeâ that will enable me to carry out my midlife obligations â caring for my aging mother; being a supportive wife; cheering my son’s independence; putting wings on my own dreams.
I don’t doubt that a solo flight to a cabana in the tropics would help me find that central core. A pina colada with a cute paper umbrella would help, too.
But right now, there’s a list of chores and deadlines competing for my attention, including a backyard garden that needs a good weeding. For now I’ll have to settle for a quick mental escape to a fantasy island. Once I get there, maybe I’ll run into Steve Martin. — Cindy La Ferle
– This essay originally appeared in the June 2008 issue of Strut for Women magazine –
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