Cindy La Ferle’s Home Officea window on the writing life

Gift of community

Cindy on November 30th, 2009

“Our national myths often exaggerate the role of individual heroes and understate the importance of collective effort.” – Robert Putnam

Taking advantage of the unseasonably warm weather this month, I took a late afternoon bike ride through our subdivision. As I waved at neighbors who were fastening holiday lights to picket fences and evergreen branches, it occurred to me that “community” always tops my annual gratitude list. My family and I have lived in the same neighborhood for more than 20 years, and I can’t think of anywhere else I’d rather be.

I know several people who crave more exotic adventures or like to move to before it’s time to repaint the living room. Americans are highly mobile — and often out of necessity. Our jobs force us to transfer. Or we follow the sun to warmer climates and better economic conditions.  But wherever we live, most of us long to live in safe, strong communities where civility is valued and practiced. We want to be neighborly, notes Robert Putnam in Bowling Alone: The Collapse and Revival of American Community.

I couldn’t agree more. I enjoy visiting local diners “where everybody knows your name.” I prefer shopping at the same grocery store and claiming a favorite booth at local restaurants. One of my favorite jobs — though it paid poorly — was writing for my hometown newspaper and meeting readers in line at the post office.

Feeling connected to a community is as essential to me as having food and shelter, and I’m fortunate enough to live in a place where residents are making an effort to meet one another – and where creating a safe haven is a top priority. And it’s not as if my neighbors and I are stuck in a nostalgic time warp. We know from experience that neighborhoods, like families, are far from perfect. We know that “building community” isn’t simply a matter of throwing a great block party.

Michigan has suffered twice as hard during this tough economic recession, and our subdivision has seen an increase in theft and vandalism. Which is why we got serious and banded together. We began meeting in kitchens and living rooms to brainstorm a few solutions. For starters, we joined our city’s Neighborhood Watch Program, and then established a neighborhood e-mail chain to help keep everyone informed and connected. In the process, we started learning each other’s names as well as the needs of our immediate community.

Of course, creating a real community requires extra effort — and modern life typically conspires against it.  When we’re not multi-tasking at the office, most of us are cloistered at home in communion with the TV or the computer. Building a stronger, friendlier neighborhood demands that we move outside our comfort zones and get involved. It requires that we log off our computers and visit a local park or attend a town meeting.

There are many small steps you can take to strengthen your own community bond. For starters, support neighborhood merchants and restaurants, and subscribe to your local paper. Learn more about local issues and politicians. (If others complain that the government isn’t working, suggest they help fix it.) Make a favorite dinner for a new neighbor and offer to share tools or your snow blower.

As anthropologist Margaret Mead once said, “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has.” – Cindy La Ferle

– Photo of Main Street, downtown Royal Oak –

Read More Comments (10) Blogs and shorts

Trust no one?

Cindy on August 25th, 2008

The young man ringing the doorbell looked clean-cut and harmless.  Opening the door, I assumed he was one of my son’s friends and greeted him with a smile. But the kid turned out to be a con artist posing as a needy college student.

“I’m selling magazine subscriptions to help pay for school tuition,” he began, racing through his spiel and waving a laminated brochure in my face. “Your neighbor Bob told me to stop by. I grew up in this neighborhood,” he added, motioning toward the next street, which he named correctly. This kid had done his homework. We do have a neighbor named Bob — but our Bob would never tell a solicitor to drop by and pitch magazine subscriptions. Smelling a scam, I said no and quickly shut the door.

“The reason you don’t recognize me is because I’ve been away at college,” he shouted as the deadbolt clicked. Yeah, right. I might have believed his fairy-tale had I not fallen for the same trap several years ago when, duh, I wrote a check for two magazine subscriptions to another young con artist posing as a student. My check was cashed but I never received the magazines. I still turn red thinking about it, but I’m older (and a bit wiser) now, so I’m going public with my shame in the hope that others might be spared a similar rip-off.

Despite the “No Soliciting” signs posted at both entrances to our home, all kinds of salespeople ring our doorbells and pound on the front door, often interrupting dinner or a deadline. Some claim they didn’t notice the signs. Others insist they really aren’t “soliciting” but are collecting for a worthy charity or campaigning for God.

Door-to-door soliciting used to be little more than a garden-variety annoyance. But where I live in the Midwest, automotive companies and manufacturers announce layoffs or plant closings almost weekly, and our regional economy is sagging. Car theft and household burglaries are on the rise in our neighborhoods. Meanwhile, local police have traced several burglaries in my suburban neighborhood to thieves posing as door-to-door solicitors. We’ve formed a Neighborhood Watch group to keep everyone informed and on alert.

Regardless, I still find it hard not to answer a knock at my door. (What if it’s a delivery person? Or one of the neighborhood kids?)  But as my husband reminds me, solicitors aren’t invited guests, and I have every right to ignore them.

These days, I’m learning to peek through the front window before opening my door to anyone. And, as the police advised our Neighborhood Watch group, I don’t judge anyone by appearances. Solicitors often dress professionally to earn confidence — sometimes carrying official-looking clipboards and bogus permits. Of course, not all solicitors are con artists, but now I find it hard to trust any stranger who comes to my door. Honestly, I never used to be like this. I miss the days when I opened my door to everyone, and my welcome mat really meant what it says.  –Cindy La Ferle

Read More Comments (2) Blogs and shorts