Gather your tribe

It takes a long time to grow an old friend.” — John Leonard

DSCN1736True friends occupy the top of my gratitude list this Thanksgiving. I can’t imagine where I’d be without the dear ones who chatted past midnight in college, coached me through my pregnancy, or held my hand at my dad’s funeral. And most of all, I cherish the troopers who still show up for emergencies as well as holiday parties.

As we age, our friendships change. As Irene Levine, PhD points out, finding the time to maintain strong friendships — and knowing where to look for new ones — can be challenging in our middle years. That’s the topic of my November column in Prime, which includes some helpful tips on friendship from Dr. Levine, also known as “The Friendship Doctor.” If you subscribe to the Sunday Detroit News and Free Press, look for a print copy in your November 10 edition.  Click here and flip to page 12 to read it online.

Researching this topic for my column, I ran across lots of good material on friendship, in addition to Dr. Levine’s blog. Here are just a few articles you might enjoy:

On friends you should firehttp://www.forbes.com/sites/erikaandersen/2012/11/17/3-kinds-of-false-friends-you-must-fire-from-your-life/

From Psychology Today: What makes a true friendhttp://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/happiness-in-world/201002/what-makes-true-friend

Why it’s hard to make friends after 30http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/fashion/the-challenge-of-making-friends-as-an-adult.html?_r=1&

Must readOn friendship and paybacks in the Wall Street Journal

 

 

2 thoughts on “Gather your tribe

  1. Hi Cindy – I liked the articles on friendships that you included in this post. (I also enjoyed the Prime story – read it the week-end it arrived with the Sunday paper.) The NYT article was particularly interesting. I kind of like the one approach where that one woman downsized her expectations – she has a friend for different activities. I think I’m kind of in that spot, right now. Sometimes it’s nice to have relaxed expectations for friendships. That said, I do (still!) kind of long for those friendships we had in our teen years. When finding friends was our main focus. Interesting topic!

  2. Thanks, Pam. I agree about lowering the expectations. It’s almost unfair to expect one person to be “all things”, all rolled up in one, although I’ve met a few people, luckily, who’ve been truly amazing friends to me over the years. It’s always a gift, though, to meet new people who answer different interests.

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