Posted on June 26, 2011
Filed under Events & news | 12 Comments | Email This Post

To exist is to change, to change is to mature, to mature is to go on creating oneself endlessly.” — Henri Bergson

It’s so much easier to stay rooted in the same place, whether it’s a desk chair or an old neighborhood. Or even a toxic relationship.

Once we nestle into our proverbial comfort zone, it takes work to pull ourselves up to the next level or move to a better place.

Staying in a rut has its benefits. Even when we know we deserve more, for instance, we tend to justify earning low wages while working at jobs we’ve already mastered. We tell ourselves that the economy is lousy; that we’re lucky to have any job with pathetic wages. We lower our expectations.

Likewise, instead of seeking out healthier relationships, it might feel safer to put up with neglect or abuse from friends or relatives who’ve been part of our history. Or we keep performing the same family “roles” we outgrew ages ago. (Victim? Competitor? Big brother? Benefactor? Brat?)

Change is hard, and asking for what we need takes courage. It also requires that we take risks and face what scares us. Is there a new door you’ve been waiting to open? Are you leaning your ladder against the wrong wall? –CL

— Photo: detail from “What We Remember”, a mixed-media construction by Cindy La Ferle —


12 Responses to “Reinvention”

  1. Becky on June 26th, 2011 4:58 pm

    Staying rooted or change. Always a tough choice. 😉

  2. Cheryl Wright on June 27th, 2011 9:10 am

    Cindy, what a timely post.

    I was so fed up of the same old, same old and so ready for new things that I busted out of my comfort zone last week.

    I resurrected my editing services when a friend asked me to edit her book. I accepted, updated my profile on social media sites and my blog and downgraded my obsession with Facebook.

  3. Cindy La Ferle on June 27th, 2011 11:16 am

    I am right on your page, literally and figuratively 🙂

  4. Tara on June 27th, 2011 12:33 pm

    excellent post! Having recently exited a 10 year marriage, I can relate to staying stuck because it is more comfortable. And then there comes a point when it is not, and then it becomes unbearable. It’s only when I get the the unbearable part that I begin to realize only I can change. I put up with a lot and now the task is to really understand WHY I do that.

  5. Cindy La Ferle on June 27th, 2011 12:54 pm

    Tara, you’re spot on when you say the next task is to understand WHY, and to get to the root of the pattern.

    My own issues are mostly career-related, but the “staying stuck” part applies.

    Wishing you the best as you work through it, Tara.

  6. Bridgette on June 28th, 2011 7:48 pm

    Wow, what a timely post!
    My Grandmother just passed away at the ripe old age of 104. And sad as I am that she is gone, I am giddy with excitement at the opportunity it gives me to reinvent myself.
    Once and for all, I have the chance to truly put the past where it belongs, as most of those who shared it are now gone.

    Here’s to new beginnings!

  7. starrlife on June 29th, 2011 6:08 pm

    Very true. Even out of losing things that we love comes new opportunities and a certain liberation. I miss my cats so much and yet there is a peace I have right now that is about the end of worrying about a sick, elderly cats health – it’s a release. Sometimes I feel guilty about it but nonetheless it remains. Sigh..

    As for career- I call those the golden handcuffs 🙂 Step right out there Cindy- you’ve got what it takes!

  8. Cindy La Ferle on June 29th, 2011 8:36 pm

    Starrlife, I am sad to hear about the cat, and can empathize with you there. I’ve lost several favorite cats over the years; we have two now, and one is in her elder years. It is becoming harder to travel for long periods of time, so I am not so sure I will always have cats (or dogs) as the years go by … and yet … can’t imagine that either. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.

  9. joanna jenkins on June 29th, 2011 10:36 pm

    How’d you get inside my head!?!

    I am very stuck, mostly with “family roles” and the change is hard and slow… but it’s getting there.

    Hope your “stuck” gets moving.

    xo jj

  10. Cindy La Ferle on June 30th, 2011 7:23 am

    JJ, as an only child caring for a widowed mom with dementia, I can relate to the family roles issue. I hope you get unstuck soon!

  11. Cafe Pasadena on July 1st, 2011 10:58 am

    “To exist is to change”, and yet I recall those who are just existing and most in need of changes. As the years mount, change comes slower and the feeling is that we’re just existing.

  12. Cindy La Ferle on July 1st, 2011 11:13 am

    Ah, Cafe … so true. I like your spin on “just existing.”

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