Update on Mom

Posted on January 20, 2011
Filed under Events & news | 19 Comments | Email This Post

The human spirit is stronger than anything that can happen to it.”  ~C.C. Scott

First, a big thank you to all who’ve inquired about my mom. It really means a lot to know that she’s remembered in your thoughts and prayers, and I always pass along your messages to her.

Secondly, I apologize for not being a very good blog buddy or Facebook friend recently. Like 3D friendships, online connections should be reciprocal. But with so much going on, I haven’t kept up with friends as often as I’d like. Once things settle, I hope to change that.

Right now, Mom is in healing mode. Her pacemaker was inserted on Monday and the surgical wound looks good. The challenge for the next few weeks, in addition to rebuilding her strength after the heart failure, will be to keep her from moving her left arm too much. (It’s essential to prevent the pacemaker from being dislodged or disconnected while the tissue around it heals into place.)  This week, she’s recovering at Woodward Hills nursing center, an affiliate of William Beaumont Hospital. It’s her third time at this facility in the past 10 years, so she settled in without much fuss after Doug and I drove her there from the hospital yesterday.

If all goes well, Mom will be ready for discharge from Woodward Hills later next week. Right now, everyone is monitoring her carefully to determine if she’ll be able to care for herself again in the long run. Once she’s home, I’ll be staying with her through her recovery, working closely with a team of home-care nurses and a physical therapist. And there will be several field trips to the cardiologist as well as to the doctor who keeps the pacemaker ticking.

Meanwhile, Mom’s memory loss remains a big concern, especially since she was terribly confused during her long stay at the hospital. Crossing my fingers, I’m hoping she’ll adjust to her new heart medications and gain emotional as well as physical strength during therapy. One day at a time.

I’d be lying if I told you I was anything but pooped out and fried. But I’m fortunate to have a husband who’s right there with me at every hospital visit, and who doesn’t seem to mind hanging out in medical waiting rooms. I’m darned lucky, too, to have so many friends who care. — CL

Comments

19 Responses to “Update on Mom”

  1. Cheryl Wright on January 20th, 2011 6:45 pm

    Great news Cindy. I continue to pray for both of you. The needs are different but so intertwined.

    While the medical team is doing their part, I pray that God will bless you with the grace and strength you need to provide your mother with the emotional support she needs.

  2. starrlife on January 20th, 2011 7:07 pm

    I am happy to hear that she’s hanging in there and you too! Hugs and wellness thoughts to you and your family! Hope all keeps moving in the comfort direction.

  3. JAne Kelley on January 20th, 2011 8:10 pm

    So glad to hear this Cindy. I continue to think of you and send positive energy your way.

  4. Cynthia Gray-Howey on January 20th, 2011 8:12 pm

    Sending healing light and lots of love and hugs. Pls get some rest when you can. Blessings.

  5. Mike Ripinski on January 20th, 2011 8:37 pm

    Cindy

    Having just gone through a very long journey with Dawne’s mom, we can totally empathize. Our thoughts and prayers are with you and mom.

    Mike

  6. Mary Ellen on January 20th, 2011 10:08 pm

    Thank you for the updates… I was wondering how your Mom and also you and Doug were doing!

    Please remember… it is very, very scary in medical situations when it is hard to hear. It is possible that some confusion is hearing loss related.

  7. Sharon on January 20th, 2011 10:11 pm

    Cindy, try not to anticipate everything that can happen. There is no way to know and you will wear yourself out. Your mom has a good team in place, so take this time to rest so you will be able to step in once she’s home. Keeping a good thought for all of you ~

  8. Only the Half of It on January 20th, 2011 11:04 pm

    You are lucky Cindy and you deserve it. Sounds like mom is doing well. Glad to hear it.

  9. Debra Darvick on January 21st, 2011 8:28 am

    I’m with Sharon. Use a bit of this time to nourish yourself. You’ve assembled a strong team. Gather back some of your strength while they are in charge.

  10. Patty Conaton on January 21st, 2011 6:16 pm

    Cindy, appreciate the update on your Mom. Our prayers are with all of you. Hope you get some rest soon.

  11. Marlynn on January 21st, 2011 7:19 pm

    Cindy – although this is taking a lot out of you, in the future you will look back and remember how much you meant to her! It will give you great comfort. I’m sorry you are having to go through this time but it is a journey most of us have to walk. Take care of yourself! Hugs and prayers sent your way!

  12. Cindy La Ferle on January 21st, 2011 8:04 pm

    Everyone, thank you for sharing your thoughts and experiences. As Marlynn says, this is “a journey that most of us have to walk.” Very true.

    When my dad died at age 65, very suddenly, I thought that was the worst thing that had happened to me. (I also have friends who lost both parents at a much younger age — and always thought that was even worse.) But watching my mother struggle and decline miserably — for years — with serious memory loss, anxiety, and perplexing cardiovascular issues has been even harder, in a different way — and has really put a strain on our relationship. It is what it is, and I remind myself to be kind and patient.

    My main worry, as I write this — after visiting Mom today — is that her dementia remains a very worrisome factor. I am not confident that it will magically “improve” once she’s home in her own place. I do think that will help, but I suspect things will be changing even more. Some of you have asked if she could come live here with us, but we do not have a first-floor bedroom or bath/shower — and my mother is not able to do stairs. Secondly, as her dementia increases, we are not able to offer the specialized care she’ll need. Having gone through this with Doug’s dad, we know the drill.

    Support from friends really helps, as does knowing that we all do get through it and we figure it out as we go along.

    Next week I will be taking my mother to the pacemaker doctor for a check-up, then back to the nursing rehab center. More appointments to come. I have cleared my calendar of most obligations in order to have time to give my mother all the attention she needs.

  13. AnnaMaria Morgan on January 22nd, 2011 5:15 am

    Thanks for sharing the journey, Cindy. It has been, and is, a long, arduous path. Yet you have remained strong, true and faithful throughout it all. As a caregiver, it is imperative that you take some time for yourself when you can.
    How wonderful that your husband is such a great support too. You will get through this. Your mom is blessed to have such a loving devoted daughter. If you don’t mind, I’d like to share one of my favorite scriptures, which I trust will comfort you. ‘They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength, they shall mount up with wings as eagles. They shall run and not be weary. They shall walk and not faint’. Isaiah 55:4 (?).

    Continuing to hold you and your mom up in prayer.

  14. Theresa Nielsen on January 22nd, 2011 8:43 pm

    Hi Cindy,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you at this time. I wish your Mom well, enjoy those special times with her, although they are not always easy, memories are truly being made. God Bless you and your family.

  15. Bridgette on January 23rd, 2011 12:12 am

    Ohhh Cindy, it’s true that many of us travel down this path with a loved one.
    When it came to my own mom, I just kept telling myself, it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it :)
    We will all walk it together.

  16. Bridgette on January 23rd, 2011 12:13 am

    Oh Cindy, it’s true that many of us travel down this path with a loved one.
    When it came to my own mom, I just kept telling myself, it won’t be easy, but it will be worth it. We will all walk it together:)

  17. cindy on January 23rd, 2011 5:29 pm

    I’ve been off the e-grid myself for a week or so due to a touch of something icky. It’s good to come back to cheering news about your mom. And speaking of Fried, I recently read a book called just that. Sylvia Boorstein. Might be worth checking out.

  18. Cafe Pasadena on January 24th, 2011 1:15 pm

    I was gonna ask about your Mom!
    Sounds like she’s doing about as well as can be expected. Is the memory loss due to the heart operation or is that alzheimers related?

    it’s good that bloggers can & should support each other.

  19. Cindy La Ferle on January 26th, 2011 8:36 am

    Cafe, you asked about the memory loss. Mom was diagnosed with vascular dementia a while back, before the heart failure. Unlike Alzheimer’s, vascular dementia is related to the heart and blood pressure issues. My mom started showing signs of dementia three years ago, and has gotten worse ever since. It makes sense, since there’s a connection between the circulatory system and the way the brain works. Mom’s had high blood pressure for years, as well as atrial fibrillation. The heart failure only made things worse, and that’s why we’re hoping the pacemaker and the new meds will stall additional memory loss.

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