Comments on: Got secrets?

By: Cindy La Ferle

Cindy La Ferle — Sun, 31 Jan 2010 03:40:30 +0000

Dominique, the fact that you’re meeting a group you met online is a wonderful testimony to online friendship, and I look forward to seeing the results of your photo shoot!

By: Dominique

Dominique — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 16:38:52 +0000

Interesting points raised by that “Bowling Alone” book (sounds like one to seek out). There are people online you “talk” to nearly every day, where you might just talk to your next door neighbor once every month or so (especially during the winter when many tend to stay inside). That might give some folks a sort of faux feeling of intimacy and safety for some foe the over sharing online.
There are things I just won’t discuss online, and it seems the younger online users don’t always have that same reticence.
It’s nice when you know someone in real life and have the opportunity to connect with them online-or vice versa.
We’re off today to shoot photos with a group we largely met and got to “know” online. But as well as we “know” them from our online interactions, our offline experience is a richer one in so many ways.

By: Cindy La Ferle

Cindy La Ferle — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 14:29:41 +0000

Elizabeth, you make good points, and I agree with your reference to blogging (at best) being akin to a literary salon. As I noted in the post, there’s a difference between blogs that shock/exploit (to gain a wider readership) and those that are intended to enrich everyone who reads them.

Your blog — and others like it — is what I had in mind when I wrote this: “We glean invaluable lessons when we read memoirs, autobiographies, blogs, and essays by gifted writers. When handled with care, the personal can be universal.”

By: Elizabeth

Elizabeth — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 08:31:24 +0000

I love good writing, no matter the source and have found the blogworld sort of like a modern version of the old literary or art/cultural salon. As the parent of a child with severe disabilities and a fairly serious writer, having a blog and reading others’ work has increased my community more than tenfold. I don’t believe that this communication takes away from “real” communication unless you’re obsessed with reading schlock — I confess that I’m frankly sort of bored with the whole “conflict” — we’ve long had tabloids and exposes and gossip that I try to avoid. As for privacy, I do get a little anxious when I write about my children, but so far I don’t think I’ve exploited them. Anyway, thanks for bringing it up.

By: Carolynn

Carolynn — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 18:30:59 +0000

I’m one who is pretty open with my ‘shares’ on my blog. It ties in with my intention to be authentic. It’s been cathartic for me, on one level, and the blogging platform has been a very effective way for me to explore & discover “my voice”.

That said, I have made it a point to keep the identity of others private (hence “The Pirate”).

I’m on Facebook and enjoy the immediacy of keeping in touch with others, however, I’m pretty vague when it comes to posting my status comments there, myself.

I refuse to Twitter. For me, that’s more than I’m prepared to share and is anyone really that interested in what I’m making for dinner? Really?

Excellent post!

Thank you,
Carolynn

By: Cindy La Ferle

Cindy La Ferle — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 13:04:03 +0000

Cindy H, I hadn’t thought about confessional poetry for years! You’re right … and I’m going to go read some Sharon Olds again.

And I agree about how different online writing is from our private writing. Even my most “personal” columns and blogs never reveal all the things that are closest to my heart. There are many things I don’t say, and favored topics I don’t ever write about — things I would only share in person with the most trusted longtime friends in my posse. Which is as it should be.

By: cindy

cindy — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 10:24:38 +0000

This post got me thinking about confessional poetry, which was all the rage in the 60s and 70s. Poetry was a good way to distill and disguise some of the more private stuff. Sharon Olds, who wrote poems about abuse, sexual and physical, got into some trouble for what some viewed as “overshare” and others saw as “lies” — people got confused, who is the person and who is the persona?

It used to be a commonly known fact that first novels were thinly veiled autobiography. Now we have memoir.

I think it’s a matter of personal taste and style. I’m not adverse to others “oversharing” but don’t do it myself. Blogging made me realize how different my writer’s diary is from the old fashioned journals I used to keep, for my eyes alone. There’s a lot of stuff I just won’t say. And a lot more my husband wishes I wouldn’t, lol. I do think of him before I post to FB these days.

By: Bridgette

Bridgette — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 04:32:36 +0000

Do I “overshare?”
And I agree with Kathleen on both counts. But seriously, nothing can take the place of a good old face to face.
And facebook, no way. Too impersonal.

By: Sharon

Sharon — Thu, 28 Jan 2010 03:52:52 +0000

Thought-provoking post, Cindy. My motto is “less is more” and I often delete more from a blog post than I keep before I click publish. Once it’s “out there,” it is really out there for the world to see indefinitely. I am keenly aware of what others’ reactions might be, but I’d rather have that than too much shared or hurt feelings.

By: jan

jan — Wed, 27 Jan 2010 21:59:58 +0000

cindy,
i’d say i am definitely on the conservative side of this. though i have a “public life” with the work I do, I remain quite a private person. i don’t write about my family or kids usually. i do want to respect their privacy. early on i made a similar mistake to yours–i wrote an article that featured a friend, though I changed her name. i think she figured it out because the relationship seriously cooled after that, though nothing was said. and as you know i don’t do facebook anymore. same reason, plus too time consuming.

i really dont’ want to blather my personals all over the web, nor do i really care to read others. i’d rather converse about what we’re learning along this road of life. or what makes our hearts soar than the kind of underwear we buy our husbands. tmi for me.

p.s. on the other hand, my 81 year old mother loves when i write about her. (wink)