Choices, choices!
Cindy on August 24th, 2009
I believe that modern Americans are feeling less and less satisfied even as their freedom of choice expands.” — Barry Schwartz
When I was a gangly, insecure kid in junior high, I kept a green eye on others who were smarter, cooler, prettier, and more athletic than I was. Like most preteens, I measured my worth against the status of my peers. And like most kids, I often found myself lacking, no matter how much encouragement I earned from my parents and teachers.
As I matured, I grew thicker skin and self-respect, and even began to trust my own insight. I understood, as my folks often reminded me, that I’d always encounter people who were faring better or worse than I was. I also caught on to the fact that conformity was a dead-end street and not a path to personal fulfillment.
Regardless, I was boggled by the options open to me after I earned my liberal arts degree. I was told that the world was my oyster, and if I really wanted to I could pursue journalism, art, advertising, marriage, motherhood, travel, teaching, publishing, public relations, law, or writing for non-profit organizations. Or maybe several of those things at the same time. On a good day, I labeled myself a Renaissance woman. Most of the time, though, I felt like a dilettante. A dabbler.
After a five-year stint in reference book publishing, I finally settled on marriage, motherhood, and freelance writing, all of which I found truly satisfying. Still, I didn’t stop looking outside myself for answers.
All too often, I questioned — or doubted — my abilities and choices. Did I really have anything new or interesting to say? Was my writing worth publication? If there were so many books, essays, and articles in print, well, why would anyone bother to read anything of mine? (Even now, as I edit this blog entry, I can’t help but think of all the other good blogs and worthy Web sites competing for attention.) Thankfully, I’ve ignored the voices of my inner critics and forged ahead.
All of this came tumbling back when I started reading Barry Schwartz’s The Paradox of Choice: Why More is Less, which Business Week voted a “Top Ten Book of the Year.” Thanks to a tip from another blogger, I rediscovered this fascinating book after overlooking it (too many books to choose from!) when it first hit the bookstores. And I’m glad I did.
The Paradox of Choice would be an excellent gift for any new graduate who’s wrestling with “what to be” when they grow up, as well as for anyone who’s chronically overwhelmed by modern culture and its smorgasbord of “options” — from electronic gadgets to graduate schools.
As Schwartz points out, our abundance of “choice” comes at a great price. “We get what we say we want, only to discover that what we want doesn’t satisfy us to the degree that we expect,” he writes. “We are surrounded by modern, time-saving devices, but we never seem to have enough time. We are free to be the authors of our own lives, but we don’t know exactly what kind of lives we want to ‘write.’”
Covering everything from the perils of conspicuous consumption to the virtual emptiness of extreme competition, this book will get you thinking about the choices you make. It might even help you find the courage to simplify your life and find more satisfaction in having just enough. — Cindy La Ferle
August 24th, 2009 at 8:40 pm
cindy, such a nice post and marvelous lead. sounds like a book i would really enjoy. i think what the author posits is so true. we are increasingly dissatisfied no matter how wide our options. noticing my own, i’ve continued to simplify over the years. it does bring peace of mind and heart. the adage may be wholeheartedly true, “less is more.” i truly look forward to reading this book. thank you!
August 24th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Timely and true. I will add this book to my list of wants. Thx
August 24th, 2009 at 11:16 pm
I’ve been trying to decide what cell phone and car to buy for months now, and every time I continue my research I just get exhausted.
By the way, I just read an interesting post on the future of journalism and blogging’s role in it at http://www.punditmom.com/2009/08/mothers-of-intention-can-newspapers-be-saved.
August 25th, 2009 at 12:26 pm
Cindy, in the first half of your blog, you described me pretty well, too! Maybe that’s why we’re both writers!
I think too many choices can be overwhelming and paralyzing for many people.
August 26th, 2009 at 5:39 am
Endless choices combined with endless comparing of oneself to others ends up in endless misery.
The book does sound interesting! How to sift through all the choices on my to-read list and books sitting on my night stand ……
September 1st, 2009 at 10:52 am
Cindy,
When I first saw him speak on a video, I immediately related, too. I think I’ll have to pick up the book.
I will add: It’s not simply the choices we have available, but the emotional/social weight we attach to those (ie, what will make you more money to afford things you think you’ll need, what will make you “cool” or “attractive” or “interesting” and that type of thing) that gets in the way of just making a pure gut choice.
I think if we settle down and calm our minds and not worry what the world will think of our choices, we will be a lot less stressed out.
Something I need to remind myself often.
September 1st, 2009 at 10:58 am
“Half of It” — you’re spot on: The emotional components of the choices we make are a major factor, and that huge issue is addressed in the book. Status is a huge part of what we choose and why. You’ll be pleased with the author’s “solutions”, and what he says about “worrying about what others think” of us (and our choices).
September 2nd, 2009 at 9:22 am
Cindy, it is so funny you write this…one of my recent MORE posts was about this guy. It immediately struck a big chord in me. I think that’s what the yearning for simplicity is all about. This summer my life has gotten very complicated, I’m presented with way too many choices. And, instead of choosing, I try to just add another ball to the many I’m already juggling. It will wear you out, or at least it does me.
I’m still processing how this applies to me, but Schwartz’s work has really got me reassessing.
Thanks for some more food for thought on this!
Allison