Your Truest Self
Cindy on May 12th, 2009
“What I really hungered for, more than any of the qualities these esteemed women represented, was a spiritual life that was real and authentic.” — Janice Lynne Lundy, from Your Truest Self
Janice Lynne Lundy and I first “met” eight years ago when she was co-publisher and editor of Healing Garden Journal, and I was a regular contributor to her magazine. Over the years, I’ve gotten to know Jan even better through her books, her Awake is Good blog, and her articles exploring women’s spirituality. I’ve always been uplifted and informed by her work.
Jan’s newest book, Your Truest Self: Embracing the Woman You Are Meant to Be (Ave Maria Press; $17.95) empowers every woman who’s on a spiritual path to personal discovery. The guide is crafted around twelve principles drawn from Jan’s personal encounters and interviews with twelve spiritual teachers, writers, and social activists whose names will strike a chord of recognition, including Joan Borysenko, Sue Patton Thoele, Iyanla Vanzant, and Naomi Judd — just for starters. As Jan points out, living as “our truest self” is a lifelong process and it helps to have mentors to light the way.
Since so many of my writing students have expressed interest in spiritual memoir and inspirational writing, I asked Jan if she’d share some thoughts about her book and how she became a successful writer in this genre.
CL: In Your Truest Self, you outline twelve “Transformational Truths” to help women lead more satisfying, peaceful lives. Each truth is exemplified by a well-known spiritual leader or inspirational teacher. How did you choose the women who inspired these truths for the book?
JL: In my career as a speaker and writer, I have been blessed to cross paths with many gifted women over the years. The twelve women I chose to feature in my book are those who had a profound and lasting impact on my life journeyâso far, that is! For example, I discovered Joyce Rupp at a time when I was struggling with my faithâor lack of it. As a burgeoning feminist, I was angry about a patriarchal notion of God (sourced in the Christian tradition). Her book, A
Star in My Heart, literally, leapt off the shelf at me. I was not consciously looking for it; it found me. Joyce’s words gave me permission to begin a search for a âGodâ of my own understanding. She represents the first Transformational Truth: âI Am Free to Live a Spiritual Life of My Own Making.â
The twelve spiritual mentors I present are: Joyce Rupp, OSM, Jan Phillips, Iyanla Vanzant, Dudley Evenson, Sue Patton Thoele, Daphne Rose Kingma, Doreen Virtue, Naomi Judd, Michelle Tsosie Sisneros, Joan Borysenko, Frances Moore Lappé, Mari Gayatri Stein. These remarkable mentors (their words, lifework, or actual presence) were gifts of the Spirit just when I needed them most. For that, I will be eternally grateful. I would not be who I am today without their guidance. I wanted to share these ladies with the world in a larger way, thus my book.
CL: As a writer, have you always focused on spiritual topics? Or was there a point in your life when you changed your writing direction?
JL: First of all, Cindy, I never planned on becoming a writer, though I always enjoyed writing. I was a high school teacher of comparative religions. In the early 1990s, when my life became quite challenging, I was drawn to personal growth, then spiritual growth, through books and programs. In 1995, I began penning inspirational essays for newspapers and magazines (not unlike what you write so very well, I might add!). These reflections were based on my observations of life even as I was growing into a more genuine version of myself. I wrote my first book in 1996, Coming Home to Ourselves: A Woman’s Journey to Wholeness, a body, mind, spirit guide to women’s well-being. Journaling is a strong component in it, as that process is what actually opened me up to writing in a professional way.
And though I have engaged in many forms of freelance writing over the years, today I find myself writing primarily about personal and spiritual growth. This is my passion and, I believe, my purpose. My desire is deep to help people navigate their spiritual lives with greater equanimity and less suffering. That is also what I do as a Spiritual Director/Mentor. It’s a fine fit with writing. I have a particular passion for women’s life journeys, so most of what I do is in support of womenâbooks, magazine columns, retreats and wokshops, and individual spiritual mentoring.
CL: Please share a few books that you consider spiritual classics, or books that deeply influenced your writing.
JL: Oh, so many! For our purposes here, I’ll choose:
Black Elk Speaks, by John G. Niehardt
Gift from the Sea, by Anne Morrow Lindbergh
Peace is Every Step, by Thich Nhat Hanh
Women Who Run with the Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes
At the Root of This Longing: Reconciling a Spiritual Hunger and a Feminist Thirst, by Carol Lee Flinders
Circle of Stones, by Judith Duerk
Any poetry by Rumi, especially translated works by Coleman Barks.
CL: In your experience leading retreats and talking with women, what are some of the challenges women face today? And how will your book help us meet them?
JL: Self-care definitely. Taking good care of themselvesâbody, mind, and spiritâas the pace of life and its pressures intensify. The Fifth Transformational Truth, “I Cultivate Compassion for Myself,” is key. Many women do not know how to demonstrate lovingkindness toward themselves, to be as tender with themselves as they are to others. We are pretty tough on ourselves, pushing ourselves beyond normal limits, often exhausting ourselves in the process. We must learn to give ourselves permission to move beyond perfectionism, busyness, and self-negating behaviors. In the book, psychotherapist and author, Sue Patton Thoele, helps me present this Truth and how to navigate its potholes. She represents how we can âlive gently with our ourselves and others.â
Also, speaking our truth is a big challenge for women today. We are naturally peacekeepers, often overly focused on being nice, pleasing others, not rocking the boat, so to speak. It takes fortitude and healthy boundaries to live as our truest self publicly in the world. The Eleventh Transformational Truth: “I Courageously Speak and Live My Truths” is a tough one, but we can learn to move beyond fear, especially of what others might think of us. In this chapter, I elicit the help of activist, Frances Moore Lappé, and readers can begin to relinquish any fear that renders them powerless or ineffectual.
I’ve structured Your Truest Self to feature Reflection Questions after each chapter. It is very important that we take time to integrate the concepts, ponder, even journal a bit. I’ve also created Peaceful Pauses. These are meditations, prayerful practices based on each Truth, which allow us to go deeper and, ultimately, embody the precept in a powerful, new way.
From loving and trusting our body’s wisdom to keeping our hearts open to others, I am confident that this book provides inspiration, big doses of courage and support, and plenty of practical strategies for living as the women we all hope to be. No matter what our spiritual tradition, the Truths are the same. We all want to be healthy and happy. More peace-filled. And wise!
CL: Thanks so much, Jan, for sharing thoughts on your new book and process with us. I wish you continued success — and I encourage readers to visit Awakened Living, your Web site, to learn more about your work.
JL: Thanks for all these great questions, Cindy, and allowing me to speak about Your Truest Self. It’s been a pleasure. Abundant blessings to you all!
May 12th, 2009 at 9:07 am
Thanks so much for having me as your guest today, Cindy. I look forward to the day we sit and gab in person!
If anyone has a question, ask away. I’m happy to chat…
Blessings,
Jan Lundy
http://www.awakeisgood.blogspot.com
May 12th, 2009 at 9:13 am
Wow! This morning I was reading the May 2009 issue of Women’s Lifestyle and enjoyed a piece written by Janice Lynne Lundy. When I checked your blog just now, there is an entire interview with Janice Lynne Lundy. I believe the universe is directing me to her new book! Thanks for the nudge!
May 12th, 2009 at 9:31 am
Good morning Jan and Cindy,
Unlike you Jan, as a child I wanted to be a writer. A book with my photo on the cover and stories about my life within, was what I envisioned. Yeah it was going to be all about me. (:-)
God led me down a different path and unveiled a different focus, a new purpose.
Now, similar to yours and Cindy’s, my passion is to help women -
1. understand and cater to the connection between caring others and caring for themselves.
2. face and navigate the meandering paths of their lives with faith, grace, confidence and passion.
Of course in doing so, I engage in my personal passion for writing.
Cindy, thanks for having Jan here today.
Jan, as always, a pleasure reading your thoughts, your processes and your writing.
May 12th, 2009 at 9:44 am
Good morning Jan and Cindy! So much good stuff here, but my question for you Jan has to do with writing. It’s interesting how you didn’t intend to be a writer, but that it evolved and grew into a large part of who you are over time. My question is: What has actual writing, the act of putting your “self” into words, done for your life, your spirituality and peace?
May 12th, 2009 at 9:58 am
I can see I need to be reading these books. I’d also love to take the writing workshop but a person can only cram so much into their life at once and right now my plate is overflowing….and no, that is not the same as my cup runneth over.
May 12th, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Hi Jan! I am popping in today to say hello and to also give a big thumb’s up for your book. It is a perfect gift for a friend as well as a perfect gift for one’s self. When you asked me to review it for my newsletter, I was so touched, and in the reading of it was touched by your spirit as well as the people you chose for each teaching. I especially loved the time outs after each chapter which helps to integrate the teaching! To all your readers today, if you haven’t yet read Jan’s book, do. It touches a place deep in your soul and is a book you hate to see end. The good news is you can read it over and over and still get another layer to it. Thank you, Jan, for such a great contribution to our world. Love you always, Diantha
May 12th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Mary Ellen,
Hi! Wow, this sounds like an enormous nudge and act of holy syncronicity. My book is available at all the online booksellers and in many bookstores nationwide. If it isn’t in your local bookstore, they can easily order it. I hope you enjoy it! Blessings!
Cheryl,
It is always interesting to see where the Divine leads or guides us, despite our good intentions. I attended college to be an elementary teacher. That is what I thought I truly wanted to be. In my sophomore year, it was brought to my attention that there was a glut of teachers and I’d likely not get a job. I explored a bit and fell in love with the fields of Religion and Anthropology. As they say, the rest is history. I am grateful now for the glut and the invitation to pursue something different. I did, indeed, find my passion …
I am glad to have connected with you, sharing similar passions and purpose.
May 12th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Joanne,
This is a great question. The act of writing and putting my “self” into words was first and foremost, very healing. Giving voice to the unsaid within me was profound. Always one to “worry” about what others thought or said, writing publicly helped me navigate self-doubt. It built self-esteem, confidence, and even physical healing. Ironically, the stress-related illnesses I was plagued with for many years began to dissipate when I began writing. Putting pen to paper released inner toxicity and shed light on persistent patterns.
Writing in the vein that I do continues to challenge me to grow, to risk. It also strengthens and expands my spiritual life because it calls me to be truthful, authentic, and transparent. I’d say my writing life IS my spiritual life. It’s a connection to the truest part of me–my sacred self–and to the greater Truth, of which (I believe) I am a part.
May 12th, 2009 at 3:58 pm
What a wonderful answer, it seems writing has given so much back to you, a true gift. I feel the same way in that my words challenge me to grow, to find the truth, and do indeed strengthen my life. Thanks for sharing that here.
May 12th, 2009 at 5:17 pm
Wow. I am drawn to transformational process but I am not at all religious. I suppose psychology is part of that path for me. I do however enjoy and benefit talking to people that are spiritual, especially using the non-judgemental language you do. Thanks so much Cindy for introducing Jan and I look forward to reading her/your book.
May 12th, 2009 at 7:51 pm
Hi Jan & Cindy,
Jan, I find that writing has become a very powerful way for me to work through things that I may still be struggling with. My blog has been the outlet where I use my voice. I would like to write a book one day, however, I find I still need the immediacy of my blog.
My question for you is, at what point, and how did you make the transition from blogging to writing & ultimately publishing a book. Or did it occur in that order for you?
Thank you!
Carolynn
May 12th, 2009 at 8:24 pm
Hi Carolynn — This is Cindy La Ferle, answering your question first. While I know Jan will want to answer, too, I think I’m correct in saying that both of us were writing our books and magazine articles long before blogging.
Speaking for myself, I started freelancing for the local papers and national magazines back in the early 1980s. That was before the Internet … in fact, I was writing my newspaper article drafts in longhand — in a notebook — then typing them on an electric typewriter. (Do I sound like a dinosaur, or what?) I had to drop off my finished pieces at the newspaper office, sometimes after midnight, depending on my deadlines …. Sounds like a lot more effort than e-mailing and blogging — and it was — but I truly miss those good old days. I enjoyed going downtown and meeting my editors in person. If my timing was right, my editors would take me out for lunch
Blogging has been great fun. I’ve gotten acquainted with so many amazing people, as I’m sure Jan would agree. But you’re right in saying that blogging is more “immediate” and therefore very different from print publishing. I think both serve an important purpose. I’m grateful for the opportunities I’ve had to enjoy both worlds, but glad I got started in print journalism first. It’s much harder to break into these days, with so much competition, so many talented bloggers.
May 12th, 2009 at 9:13 pm
Midlife Slices,
Thanks for visiting! I do hope the book list helps you on your path. So many wonderful books out there…
Visited your site and tried to find your
name but couldn’t.
Diantha,
Thanks so much for your wonderful comments. I appreciate your support, as always. I do think that what you say about the book is true. It has layers of meaning that one can return to, depending on where one is on their path. I am so glad it has spoken to your heart.
Joanne,
I am happy to hear that your writing has served you in similar ways. Perhaps, more than anything, writing has helped me to get CLEAR–about myself, my interests, talents, issues, and so much more. It is a gift, as you say.
Starrlife,
Thanks for stopping by. I do not consider myself religious, though there are “religious” women in my book. Their broad spirituality and inclusivity moves beyond the confines of traditional religion, however, and is most welcoming and hospitable. I am sure you will enjoy them–and the book. Blessings!
May 12th, 2009 at 9:22 pm
Carolynn,
Cindy thanks for fielding this one for me. I would have answered similarly. Blogging came very late for me. Writing came first, primarily for newspapers and magazines–reflective essays, mostly. Started my first regular column in 1995. Have had it since then so I am one of the fortunate ones.
Today, I write monthly or bi-monthly columns for five different publications. One is a nationally franchised pub. Of the other three, one is in MI, one in FL, and one in IL. These are print publications. I also write for one online magazine, Michigan Women’s Forum–as does Cindy. There are links to these publications on my blog.)
Books came next, beginning in 1996. There have been four of them, three self-published and, finally, Your Truest Self, which has a national publisher. Blogging supports my writing, as well as what I do as a spiritual director/mentor and program facilitator. Blogging has been great fun for me and opened me up to new ways of thinking, writing and presenting my material. It has also connected me with kindred spirits worldwide which I absolutely love. As you say, it provides immediate feedback which is quite gratifying.
Good luck to you on your writing. Never give up!
May 13th, 2009 at 9:14 am
Thank you Cindy & Jan.
I know my journey will be unique to me, however, it’s nice to know how others have ‘done it’. Thank you both very much for taking the time to give me such thoughtful and supportive answers.
Blessings!
Carolynn
May 13th, 2009 at 9:57 am
Jan and Cindy, you write two of my favorite blogs. I can see that I need to move on to your book Jan. I’ve arrived at the point where it seems to me the world could use more spirituality and less religion, or at least more religion with spirituality. Spirituality seems to cultivate the kind of self-reflection that is sorely missing in the world. I’d be interested to hear your thoughts on that, Jan.
Thanks for a great post.
May 13th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Hi Allison,
Thanks for the kind comments on our blogs. I agree that now is the time for us to cultivate our spiritual view of life. Self-reflection is, indeed, key to our survival and our ability to create the world we desire. And, as you know, that onerous step begins with each of us. Knowing how to slow down, get still, listen to our inner wisdom, follow our heart, attend to our spirit rather than our ego. Then align ourselves with others of similar mind and heart.
I know you would love my book, Allison, and it sounds like you are ready to make some important shifts. As my book explains, it is time for us to LIVE our spiritual truths, not just give them lip service. The world won’t change until we do…Glad you are here with us on this journey!
May 13th, 2009 at 9:56 pm
Thanks for this! I made a note to check out the book (great cover) and I love her blog. I just added to my list of favorites.
May 14th, 2009 at 2:19 pm
Cindy, thanks for sharing this interview with Jan Lundy. Lots of good ideas and suggestions for future reading. I, too, am very much drawn to spiritual topics, and this interview was helpful to me.