Midlife love at the movies
Cindy on January 31st, 2009
Most of us go to the movies to escape cabin fever. In a darkened theater we can indulge in buttered popcorn, suspend reality, and forget our worries for a couple of hours. But I believe the whole experience is even richer if we can see ourselves reflected in a few of the characters on the big screen. Until recently, though, this hasn’t been so easy for women over 45.
Of course, we’ve all seen our share of Hollywood’s midlife clichés — wicked stepmothers, menopausal moms, female bosses on a power trip, and frumpy wives who get dumped after the kids leave home. But women of a certain age are rarely given top billing as romantic leads. For that matter, middle-aged romance isn’t often featured at the movies.
Which is why I’m happy to recommend two relatively new films that celebrate midlife love and second chances.
Now available on DVD, The Visitor (from the producer of Sideways) opens with a classic midlife crisis, then reminds us that love often takes us by surprise.
Played by Richard Jenkins, Walter Vale is a mildly depressed middle-aged widower who’s lost interest in his career as an economics professor. He can’t finish the book he’s (supposedly) working on. His life is orderly — and as dull and gray as mid-winter in Detroit.
The Visitor suddenly assumes an air of intrigue when Walter heads to New York to deliver a paper at a conference. Upon arrival, he discovers that his Manhattan apartment (which he rarely visits) has been accidentally rented to Terek (played by Haaz Sleiman), a young drummer from Syria, and his girlfriend, Zainab (played by Danai Gurira). Mild-mannered Walter is shocked at first. But in a move that reveals both his loneliness and compassion, he invites the pair to stay until they can find accommodations elsewhere.
Despite their obvious age and ethnic differences, Walter and Terek bond quickly, and in one of the coolest scenes in the film, Terek teaches Walter to play the drums. The drumming opens Walter to new possibilities and renews his outlook on life.
But the real heart of the story opens up when Terek — who is in the United States illegally – is rounded up by the police and jailed at a detention center in Queens. Terek’s beautiful widowed mother (played by Hiam Abbass) soon arrives from Michigan to help her son. In the meantime, she also befriends Walter. I don’t want to spoil the rest of the film for you, but suffice to say that The Visitor will charm you with engaging performances. And it might inspire you to take up drumming.
Just in time for Valentine’s Day, Last Chance Harvey is now playing in local theaters — and it’s the perfect “date movie” for midlife romantics.
In it, Dustin Hoffman plays Harvey Shine, a rumpled but endearing composer of advertising jingles. As the film unfolds, Harvey winds up in London for his estranged daughter’s wedding, where his appearance isn’t too warmly welcomed. As fate would have it, Harvey misses his plane back to New York and ends up losing his job. Drowning his sorrows in the airport bar, Harvey meets Kate, a no-frills British government worker played by Emma Thompson. Kate is saddled with an elderly mother who phones Kate several times a day to scold her for not finding a husband. Of course, you’ll have to see the film to learn what happens next.
Last Chance Harvey touches on several themes familiar to some middle-aged viewers — the difficulty of divorced parenthood as well as the fear of being ousted from one’s job by younger talent. Meanwhile, it illuminates the beauty of mature love, and most important of all, gives us reason to believe in second chances. – Cindy La Ferle
–If you missed the introductory “Midpoint” column in The Oakland Press, click here.–
– Photo of Emma Thompson, currently starring in Last Chance Harvey –
February 1st, 2009 at 7:34 am
They both sound interesting but not around this little rural area yet! We just went to see Slumdogs Millionaire last night and enjoyed it despite some of the shocking events and situations in it. We kept waiting for the feel good part and it finally came at the end.
February 1st, 2009 at 11:06 am
Hollywood is so intent on the idea that middle-aged people who don’t look scarily younger than their age via medical intervention and extreme dieting that it is nice when they throw us a few bones now and again and acknowledge reality.
February 1st, 2009 at 5:43 pm
I saw “The Visitor” in the theater – a story told so well I forgot the characters were actors. It’s on my list to see again. I’m waiting for “Last Chance Harvey” to come to my area. Emma and Dustin are two of my favorites, and I love a good love story.
February 2nd, 2009 at 4:41 pm
They sound like great movies, and I hope to catch them in the theatre or on DVD.
February 3rd, 2009 at 8:26 am
Saw previews of Visitor and missed it. Will have to get DVD. And you know how much I love DH…..
February 3rd, 2009 at 11:18 am
I loved The Visitor!! And want to see Harry as well. Emma T is a fave of mine. On Superbowl Sunday I took myself to another movie New In Town with Renee Z. She is playing a character a little older than usual. I like that she has had no plastic surgury. Real lines on her forehead etc. But still way too skinny. It was a cute story, if a bit fairy-tale like.
February 9th, 2009 at 12:06 am
Hey thanks Cindy for the recommendations! The Visitor sounds quite interesting, I will have to be on the look out for that one. And I LOVE Emma Thompson. I’ve wanted her to be my friend for many years now. I’ll look for that movie as well. I liked her in Love Actually with Alan Rickman, that was a great vignette of middle aged love gone a bit stale. I thought she was great in it.