Freeing my free time
Cindy on December 6th, 2008
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” — Mary Oliver
So, I asked a newly retired newspaper columnist if she’s planning to start a blog — especially now that her work isn’t appearing regularly in print. I’ve admired her beautiful writing for a long time, I told her, and would happily read anything she cares to post.
“Does the world really need another blog?” she shot back, adding that it’s hard enough to keep up with her e-mail — not to mention Facebook, Twitter, Gather, LinkedIn, and all the other “distractions” online. “Who in the world has time for all of that?” she said. “Now that I’m retired, I want my real life back.”
My columnist friend got me thinking about how much time I’ve been spending online in recent years. After putting in two or three hours (daily) on writing projects or assignments, my routine goes something like this:
- Answer e-mail
- Work on posts for various Web sites (including 50-something Moms)
- Update status on Facebook
- Visit friends’ blogs and leave comments
- Surf the Web for juicy political articles
Before I know it, morning has morphed into afternoon, and I’ve only left my desk to refill my coffee mug. Hanging out in cyberspace was perfectly fine — even ideal — when my son was much younger and needed a stay-at-home mom. But the kid is 23 now, and lives five hours from home. Besides, even when he was in middle school, the Internet didn’t monopolize my time.
So what did I do with my “one wild and precious life” before a keyboard became part of my anatomy?
I accomplished so much more. For starters, I generated a lot more article proposals for print publications. I read more books. Met friends regularly for lunch or dinner. Started and completed more art projects. Rode my mountain bike, took longer walks, or worked in the garden. Explored local businesses and flea markets. Pored through cookbooks and tested new recipes on my appreciative family.
Like my retired friend, I want that life back again.
Trying an experiment this week, I limited my “social time” on the computer to 45 minutes per day. (That includes checking e-mail, surfing, and visiting blogs.) At first it felt weird, since I’ve been compulsive about checking my e-mail several times a day. But soon I felt happier, more creative — and liberated from the tyranny of my computer. I felt as if I’d finally seized control of my free time.
During that free time this week, I made a few simple Christmas gifts for friends, then completed an altered art project to enter in upcoming exhibition. After cleaning my art studio, I picked out a pretty note card and wrote a heartfelt message to a college room mate. (Imagine her surprise when she gets snail mail from me!) Later in the week, I cut evergreen branches to decorate the empty planters on the porch. I called my mother more often, just to talk. I even had time to plan a small party for dear friends whose December birthdays typically get lost in the holiday shuffle.
Once again, I began to appreciate the sacred in the ordinary.
My late father used to talk a lot about the importance of life balance. “Everything in moderation” was one of his favorite catchphrases, and he used it whenever the topic of substance abuse or addiction came into the conversation. This fall, I realized that my computer use was bordering on obsession or addiction. And like any addiction, it was impacting my attitude and relationships with the most important people in my life. I knew I needed to come up for air.
I truly enjoy posting blogs and following colleagues on Facebook. I love surfing the Net and making new discoveries, new friends. And I love reading the blogs of other writers. I can’t “quit” entirely — but from now on, I’ll try to spend less time hugging my computer. – Cindy La Ferle
Please note:Â I’ll still continue to post essays, short blogs, or announcements at least twice a week.
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Comments (12) 
Columns and essays, Just for writers
December 6th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Yep- I couldn’t manage a social site like Facebook! I’ve slowed down too, with the internet anyway, if not so much the blogging. Maybe it’s a stage of life thing -the getting addicted part?It’s my one big selfishness but it sure does suck one into a time vacuum! You must have boundless energy to manage all of that stuff!
December 6th, 2008 at 8:50 pm
Cindy, You are so right! I am trying to get up from my computer a little more often. I can spend way too much time just responding to e-mail! I must say I enjoy your blog tremendously, but I will still savor each piece even if they appear lest frequently.
December 6th, 2008 at 11:14 pm
All True! I have traded my TV time for surfing.
December 7th, 2008 at 9:59 am
Thanks for your comments, everyone — it’s good to know we’re not alone. I want to add that I will still post essays or short blogs at least twice a week, maybe more. What I do plan to cut back on most of all is “aimless surfing” (including online shopping and browsing) or otherwise allowing the Internet to eat up time that I could be spending on other things or with family and friends. By limiting my time on the computer every morning, it’s amazing how much time has opened up for other things that I thought I didn’t have time (or energy) for…
December 7th, 2008 at 10:34 am
When I miss your posts or your comments, I will think of you tackling a fun, off-line project and I will smile …
Enjoy your new “found” time.
December 7th, 2008 at 8:18 pm
The cycle of life? Can we really eat brownies everyday for breakfast? I restrict myself to blogvisiting a few times a week and try to focus on my writing the other days. There’s just so much we can give of ourselves without needing to get replenished.
December 8th, 2008 at 8:52 am
Good advice for someone who is just beginning to get sucked into the void (and enjoying it, I must admit!). Set limits. Come up for air. Appreciate the sacred in the ordinary.
Thanks!
December 8th, 2008 at 7:53 pm
Bravo, Cindy! My son just sent me his website. It was really links to Racebook and Linked in and Twitter. Oy! I admire your fortitude and have noticed, like you that the computer is a huge time gobbler. You’re inspiring me. I don’t know that I could do 45 minutes but might entertain an hour limit.
One of my mom’s most frequent maxims was also, “Anything in moderation.”!
Happy walking, making art, reading.
December 8th, 2008 at 10:50 pm
Cindy, I know how you feel. I’ve started doing other things first thing in the morning now besides reading the news, e-mail and blogs. I’m trying to reserve my computer time for moments in the day.
I think that in this political season we’ve just weathered, the computer has served as an important information tool — but now I feel I can ease up a bit on my computer time, too.
December 9th, 2008 at 7:47 pm
Cindy, I read your timely post on the 6th, but I didn’t have time to comment until today. I think many of us are feeling the time crunch. Please continue to post when you feel able. I always look forward to reading your essays.
December 10th, 2008 at 9:16 am
cindy, a similar thing happened to me and the scary part was taht it started to feel like i didn’t know my own home anymore. i hardly puttered. i used the kitchen to cook, the living room to watch the news, but otherwise i was sequestered in front of the computer. i wasn’t available for the project that grows out of a few empty moments. i didn’t tidy anymore. i resented doing laundry…i have pulled back as well and am rediscovering the joy of just being in my home.
December 10th, 2008 at 10:30 am
Cindy H (not to be confused with me or Cindy HL) — you said it well. I think one of the joys of working from home, and being a writer, is having all that time for “creative moodling,” as author Brenda Ueland explains in IF YOU WANT TO WRITE. If our heads are floating in cyberspace all the time, we’re missing the real life around us.
Along these lines, I found after several years of writing weekly newspaper columns that I began to view my daily life as newspaper column fodder — everything that happened was a “potential story.” That started creeping ME out… I think there’s a similar danger in getting obsessed about one’s blog. — Cindy La Ferle