School bus blues
Cindy on August 31st, 2008
âIt will be hard watching her get on that bus for the first time,â my friend Jen (not her real name) confides. Jen’s firstborn starts kindergarten this week. She and her adorable daughter have purchased all the necessary school supplies, including a new lunch box and a coveted neon-pink backpack from Target. “I’m just not ready to let go,” Jen tells me, fighting tears.
I can see that Jen is looking for some reassurance, some comforting maternal advice from an older mom who’s pioneered the same frontier and can light the way. She needs someone to tell her that her ambivalence is normal (it is) and that she’s not totally ridiculous for feeling a little sad about this transition (she’s not).
Fighting tears, too, I’m standing on the opposite side of the parenting threshold. My son just graduated college in May. Earlier this summer, he sorted through his closet and drawers, packed his car, and moved to a flat in Chicago, where he’s starting his career. To honor this milestone, his dad and I bought him a beautifully tailored suit — the first really good suit he’s ever owned. Watching him being fitted for sleeve length, I couldn’t help but remember summers past, when we shopped for his grade-school uniform and a “Thomas the Tank Engine” backpack. Â Right now, my mind reels with all the cliches we writers are warned not to use: Kids grow up too fast … They’re only young for a short time … Where did all the time go?
My husband and I have recently joined the legions of Baby Boomer parents who bear the dubious title of âempty nesters.â We’re excited about the second half of our lives — and look forward to being “just the two of us” again. But I know it will take time to feel at home in our quieter, cleaner house.
As I told Jen, letting go is a process, and she’s just getting started. As a young parent, she’s got many milestones ahead — the middle school years, award banquets, driver’s training, homecoming dances, proms, high school graduation… I wanted to find words that would ease her mind, but I could only validate what she was feeling. Whether your kid is climbing up the steps of a school bus for the first time, or driving off in a car packed with his worldly belongings, it’s never easy to let go. But it’s as natural as the changing of seasons. – Cindy La Ferle
–This essay appeared in slighty different form last month on 50-Something Moms Blog–
