How not to look old?
Cindy on May 6th, 2008
My 50-something girlfriends and I have been rehashing the weary topic of aging gracefully versus aging desperately. Even in the women’s magazines geared to our demographic, “mature” fashion 
models appear to be surgically altered or Botoxed, then dressed to look 35. The message? Aging is shameful. To be avoided at all costs. She who looks youngest wins ….
There’s even a new book out to lead us on this vengeful anti-aging crusade, and the title alone — How Not to Look Old – makes me wince. It also makes me angry, because I believe women can look fabulous and “older” at the same time. I keep hoping someone will write a book that celebrates real maturity, and doesn’t imply that we’re in some frantic competition with our daughters, or our son’s girlfriends. Like everyone else, I want to look as good (and healthy) as I can, but I have no burning desire to revisit my youth. I don’t miss the insecurities or the silly short skirts or the go-go boots. I’m not afraid to look like a grown-up.
It would help if we had a few more role models like Helen Mirren, Sally Field, Maya Angelou, and Lauren Hutton — elegant, self-assured women who are comfortable in their changing skin. Women who aren’t afraid to show us how beautiful maturity can be.
Maybe’s there’s hope … In the May issue of Ladies Home Journal, for instance, Sally Field discusses her decision to avoid plastic surgery and how that impacts her acting career. And in the May/June issue of AARP The Magazine, Jamie Lee Curtis speaks frankly about her pending 50th birthday, touching on what’s truly important to her and reflecting on things she would or wouldn’t change in her life.
“I want to be older,” Curtis tells AARP. “I actually think there’s an incredible amount of self-knowledge that comes with getting older. I feel way better now than I did when I was 20. I’m stronger, I’m smarter in every way, I’m so much less crazy than I was then.” Curtis is blazing new trails for baby boomer women, and I hope we hear more from her and about her.
Meanwhile, I’m count myself lucky to have several women friends who are at least 10 years older than I am. They’re terrific role models, too, though it’s not likely the media will ever discover them. I often ask for their advice, and hope to learn from their hard-earned wisdom. Now past their childrearing years, these women are finding new ways to share their gifts with the community or in their various professions. And they look gorgeous, just as they are.
Not long ago, in fact, a very stylish friend in her seventies reminded me that reaching maturity doesn’t have to be synonymous with looking foolish or frumpy. She hasn’t had a stitch of cosmetic surgery. Her secret? Well, it’s really hard to explain. It goes beyond her flair with offbeat accessories. She always aims to be her best self, a true original, and never an imitation of someone else. I admire her savoir-faire — and can only aspire to be half as cool as she is. — Cindy La Ferle
