Comments on: Mommy blogs: Where have all our boundaries gone? http://www.laferle.com/2008/04/where-have-all-our-boundaries-gone/ a window on the writing life Fri, 10 Feb 2012 14:21:24 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.3.1 By: Got secrets? | Cindy La Ferle's Home Office http://www.laferle.com/2008/04/where-have-all-our-boundaries-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-10614 Got secrets? | Cindy La Ferle's Home Office Mon, 25 Jan 2010 13:50:55 +0000 http://www.laferle.com/?p=124#comment-10614 [...] a weekly newspaper column early on, I learned the hard way when I’d crossed the line and violated the tender privacy of loved ones. My son, who was often mentioned in my columns when [...] [...] a weekly newspaper column early on, I learned the hard way when I’d crossed the line and violated the tender privacy of loved ones. My son, who was often mentioned in my columns when [...]

]]> By: Cindy La Ferle’s Home Office » Blog Archive » Sam Lamott http://www.laferle.com/2008/04/where-have-all-our-boundaries-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-1929 Cindy La Ferle’s Home Office » Blog Archive » Sam Lamott Thu, 24 Jul 2008 03:20:16 +0000 http://www.laferle.com/?p=124#comment-1929 [...] We’d been around and through this before. Years before I began blogging, I wrote a weekly column for our local daily newspaper. My assignment was to write about my family life — which naturally included funny or poignant moments involving my son and his friends. No matter how careful I was, my son was hurt or humiliated more than once by what was published in my column. You’d think I’d have learned my lesson by now. [...] [...] We’d been around and through this before. Years before I began blogging, I wrote a weekly column for our local daily newspaper. My assignment was to write about my family life — which naturally included funny or poignant moments involving my son and his friends. No matter how careful I was, my son was hurt or humiliated more than once by what was published in my column. You’d think I’d have learned my lesson by now. [...]

]]> By: andreafrazer http://www.laferle.com/2008/04/where-have-all-our-boundaries-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-1510 andreafrazer Thu, 17 Apr 2008 20:36:57 +0000 http://www.laferle.com/?p=124#comment-1510 I have grappled with what you wrote about over and over and over. Where is the fine line between "being real" and "exposing our children for pay"? I write for BabyCenter and GoodHousekeeping.com. For a long time I debated whether to talk about my son's recent Tourettes diagnosis. I finally decided to and am glad I did. Soooo many women have read it and found peace with their own childrens' tics and twitches, minor and major. But what if Stink is upset later? What if he, though it's nothing to be ashamed of, feels violated in some way? It's such a hard decision. I'd love see a follow up to this. Later. I'll save your link. I have grappled with what you wrote about over and over and over. Where is the fine line between “being real” and “exposing our children for pay”? I write for BabyCenter and GoodHousekeeping.com. For a long time I debated whether to talk about my son’s recent Tourettes diagnosis. I finally decided to and am glad I did. Soooo many women have read it and found peace with their own childrens’ tics and twitches, minor and major. But what if Stink is upset later? What if he, though it’s nothing to be ashamed of, feels violated in some way? It’s such a hard decision. I’d love see a follow up to this. Later. I’ll save your link.

]]> By: Jan http://www.laferle.com/2008/04/where-have-all-our-boundaries-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-1507 Jan Tue, 15 Apr 2008 18:33:16 +0000 http://www.laferle.com/?p=124#comment-1507 As a long time reader of your columns, I've always enjoyed your views of motherhood, kids, home and community. There is always something that hits home with me. Sometimes the anecdotes make me laugh and sometimes I feel relieved and validated to know that I'm not the only one in the motherhood boat. I admire the way you honored your son's feelings. Many parents don't. Middle schoolers are especially self-conscious and sensitive. When most moms stayed home with the kids, they met for coffee and conversation. Mommy blogging may be a more global version of those gatherings. A stay home mom is an endangered species and having a virtual gathering with other moms may be the next best thing to the coffee klatch. It connects moms who can chat and doesn't even require cleaning or baking. As a long time reader of your columns, I’ve always enjoyed your views of motherhood, kids, home and community. There is always something that hits home with me. Sometimes the anecdotes make me laugh and sometimes I feel relieved and validated to know that I’m not the only one in the motherhood boat.
I admire the way you honored your son’s feelings.
Many parents don’t. Middle schoolers are especially self-conscious and sensitive.
When most moms stayed home with the kids, they met for coffee and conversation. Mommy blogging may be a more global version of those gatherings.
A stay home mom is an endangered species and having a virtual gathering with other moms may be the next best thing to the coffee klatch. It connects moms who can chat and doesn’t even require cleaning or baking.

]]> By: Cindy http://www.laferle.com/2008/04/where-have-all-our-boundaries-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-1503 Cindy Mon, 14 Apr 2008 12:28:15 +0000 http://www.laferle.com/?p=124#comment-1503 That's a good compromise, and thanks for suggesting it. That’s a good compromise, and thanks for suggesting it.

]]> By: Peter Juan http://www.laferle.com/2008/04/where-have-all-our-boundaries-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-1502 Peter Juan Mon, 14 Apr 2008 00:56:23 +0000 http://www.laferle.com/?p=124#comment-1502 If the goal is to build a community of support for mothers, then perhaps it would also be prudent to blog with a platform that allows for better control of privacy settings. <a href="http://i.ph" rel="nofollow">I.PH blogs </a> for instance lets you choose which articles can be read by who, whether these folks have i.ph accounts or not. That way you can select your audience better. An interesting childhood anecdote could be shared to a networks of fellow mom bloggers that have earned your trust but remains hidden from the child's peers. Just adding my 2 cents. Good on you for seeking a compromise. Best of luck and blog on! If the goal is to build a community of support for mothers, then perhaps it would also be prudent to blog with a platform that allows for better control of privacy settings. I.PH blogs for instance lets you choose which articles can be read by who, whether these folks have i.ph accounts or not. That way you can select your audience better. An interesting childhood anecdote could be shared to a networks of fellow mom bloggers that have earned your trust but remains hidden from the child’s peers. Just adding my 2 cents. Good on you for seeking a compromise. Best of luck and blog on!

]]> By: Cindy http://www.laferle.com/2008/04/where-have-all-our-boundaries-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-1499 Cindy Sun, 13 Apr 2008 03:38:34 +0000 http://www.laferle.com/?p=124#comment-1499 Sherra, Thanks for your wise comments. I should add that I believe the majority of these blogs are a great way to build a sympathetic, supportive community for mothers. As long as we're careful-- and we examine our motives with compassion -- "mommy blogs" can be of tremendous help to others in our shoes. My experience is mainly with print journalism, which, in my case, is viewed by my immediate family (including my son) and community. All said and done, these are the people who mean the world to me. Sherra,
Thanks for your wise comments. I should add that I believe the majority of these blogs are a great way to build a sympathetic, supportive community for mothers. As long as we’re careful– and we examine our motives with compassion — “mommy blogs” can be of tremendous help to others in our shoes. My experience is mainly with print journalism, which, in my case, is viewed by my immediate family (including my son) and community. All said and done, these are the people who mean the world to me.

]]> By: Sherra http://www.laferle.com/2008/04/where-have-all-our-boundaries-gone/comment-page-1/#comment-1498 Sherra Sat, 12 Apr 2008 23:31:11 +0000 http://www.laferle.com/?p=124#comment-1498 Cindy--I'm not sure which "mommy blogger" linked your story in her post but I appreciate your perspective. I just wanted to chime in with my two cents as a mother of four who is relatively new to the blogging world. Each time I write a story about my kids, I show them first and ask if they're okay with it. I'm not actually asking permission because I'm the mom, it's my website and I get to decide. But I do have a finite amount of empathy for them and there is never a time I want to shame them. That being said, you are wise to understand that in different seasons of their lives, they will be more sensitive and need us to honor their privacy. In this season of my life, with three teens plus an eight year old, my deepest desire is for moms to be <em>real</em> with each other throughout the journey. Especially the hard parts (which are sometimes funny but often are not so funny). Okay--I'll stop now. Obviously this struck a chord with me and I appreciate what you wrote about the subject. I'm looking forward to reading more here & added you to my RSS feed. Thanks. Cindy–I’m not sure which “mommy blogger” linked your story in her post but I appreciate your perspective. I just wanted to chime in with my two cents as a mother of four who is relatively new to the blogging world.

Each time I write a story about my kids, I show them first and ask if they’re okay with it. I’m not actually asking permission because I’m the mom, it’s my website and I get to decide. But I do have a finite amount of empathy for them and there is never a time I want to shame them.

That being said, you are wise to understand that in different seasons of their lives, they will be more sensitive and need us to honor their privacy.

In this season of my life, with three teens plus an eight year old, my deepest desire is for moms to be real with each other throughout the journey. Especially the hard parts (which are sometimes funny but often are not so funny).

Okay–I’ll stop now. Obviously this struck a chord with me and I appreciate what you wrote about the subject. I’m looking forward to reading more here & added you to my RSS feed. Thanks.

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